Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“Sometimes, yes, but that’s how I was able to learn that I shouldn’t be overprotective about anyone. Because in the end, they have their own life, and I have mine.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think protecting people makes you a bad person or someone who shouldn’t be trusted. I think it takes a lot of courage to not only protect oneself, but everyone else around you.”
“Believe me, Princess, that wasn’t my intention, but if you take it that way, I won’t mind.”
“Didn’t you just say you were being overprotective?”
“Yeah, but not of everyone around me. We don’t do that where we came from. Not like you do.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you make sure your family is well taken care of.”
“It’s my duty.”
“Using yourself as a fucking body shield in front of Sergei isn’t duty—it’s reckless.”
She stares at me for a beat, then sighs. “I had to. That’s the only way my family could survive. If Sergei dies, both Anastasia and I are fucked.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, we are. Don’t you see how the others are plotting against me? Mikhail will have my head on a platter the moment Sergei dies, and have you seen that fox Kirill? He has something up his prim-and-proper sleeve, too.”
“Neither of them will hurt you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you have me now. There is no way in hell you’ll be hurt under my watch.”
She’s silent for a second, and I think she’s falling asleep. But then her words fill the silence. “Why did you leave?”
It’s the first time she’s spoken to me with that vulnerable voice outside of sex. It’s not only due to the question, but also about how she felt when it happened back then.
I consider my options and what to tell her without pushing her away. I’m enjoying having her around me so much right now. Or any time, basically.
“I was on a mission,” I say.
“What type of mission?”
“The type you shouldn’t know about for your own safety.”
“You left me, Kyle. I have the right to know why.”
“What do you mean I left you? We weren’t in a relationship back then. We weren’t sexual, or anything.”
“You were the closest guard I had, and you were the only one I ever allowed to know about my twin sister. You were the only one I shared my past with. And yet you just up and left as if nothing happened, as if we didn’t have those things together.”
“You told me you didn’t need me, Rai. After we saved Reina, you stood in front of me and said you were your own person and didn’t need someone to do things for you. You said those words, so don’t sit here and pretend as if you begged me to stay.”
“Begged you? Do you realize how that sounds? You know me, Kyle, or at least you did back then. Did you really think someone like me would ever beg? I’d just lost my grandpa back then, my only anchor, and the only person I needed by my side fucking left.”
“I didn’t know. I don’t exactly have the capacity to read your mind.”
“So you decided to leave as if nothing happened?”
“I told you I was on a mission.”
“What type of mission? And don’t tell me I shouldn’t know for my safety. We’re already married. There’s no wall that exists between us.”
Yes, there is, and she’s the one who has been building it since the beginning. I’m no better myself considering everything I’m hiding, but the barrier does exist, and all I want to do is to fucking eradicate it.
“The mission was for that organization I told you about. I had to go back to England.”
“And that made you unable to answer my calls or send me a text to let me know?”
“Yes.”
“But why, Kyle? Just why the hell did you erase yourself from my life that abruptly?”
“Because that’s what I do. I disappear. I couldn’t stay in touch because that would’ve made me want to come back, and that was out of the question.”
“You just wanted to leave.”
“Yes.” And I didn’t want to think about you. “You’d already chosen your life path, and I didn’t have a place in it.”
“Idiot,” she mutters.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t need to know for your own safety.” She repeats my words from earlier in a mocking tone.
“You never give up, do you?”
“No, and if you leave without notice again, it won’t be pretty.”
I brush my lips over her forehead as my form of an answer.
We remain like that until exhaustion takes its toll on her and she falls asleep. As soon as she does, I reach for my phone and unlock it. I have several messages.
One of them is more important than the others.
Flame: The attack tonight went smoothly.
Fucker. Of course it did.
Shouldn’t it be ironic that I’m shot by an attack I initiated?