Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
“Maybe do something about that,” he adds.
I sigh heavily. “Not sure I can.”
He lifts a brow. “You sure about that?”
On that mic drop, he walks to his car. As I head to mine, I replay those words. Turn them over. Then inside out. Am I sure?
Come to think of it…I’m not.
Not at all.
I hop in my car and call Dev. “What are you doing?”
“Working out,” he says in between heavy breaths. Sounds like he’s on the elliptical at his gym.
“I’m coming by,” I say.
“Okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m walking into the gym with a renewed sense of purpose. I march over to the cardio machine that he’s attacking with the ferocity of a man who’s as lonely as I am. I stop at it as he rips out his earbuds but keeps on running. “What’s up?”
“I can’t stop thinking we messed up.”
His eyes spark. “How? Tell me how? Because then we can fix it. I’ve been dying to fix it, but I have no idea how.”
“I think I do,” I say, and for the first time in a week, I feel a spark.
49
HAT DAY
Aubrey
It’s been over a week since I saw the guys but I’m doing my damnedest to live in the moment.
This second, I’m doing something I’ve loved since I was a kid. Playing with hair.
My friend Briar’s at my salon this Saturday since she has a photo shoot this afternoon for some promos for her new series of yoga videos. “Don’t ever leave me. Or it’ll be hat day every day for the rest of my life,” she says into the mirror.
“Aww, I love hat days. But I’m happy that you need me,” I say above the hum of the dryer.
“Need you. Refuse to leave you,” she says, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “Especially since the struggle to master the art of the blowout is real.”
I smile back slyly. “I know.” Then I stage whisper, “And I love it. Now tell me more about the videos,” I say as I move to another chunk of her hair.
“They’ve been taking off. Ever since I started working with the Golden State Foxes,” she says, since she teaches yoga classes for the team.
Stay in the moment. Don’t start thinking about the hockey guy you’re pining for on that team.
That’s what the therapist I saw a few days ago said. A woman named Elena Alvarez that my chocolate-loving friend Elodie recommended.
She talked about focusing on the present. Not the future. Not the past. But each moment. I told her about the wedding that didn’t happen and the honeymoon that did. I’ll see her again next week too. It was cathartic to talk to someone. There’s a lot I’ve been holding in. A lot I’m no longer holding in too.
I finish Briar’s hair and turn off the dryer, then do a final perusal of my friend, her blonde hair blown into voluminous curls and glowing against her fair skin. “You look gorgeous.”
“So do you.” She arches a brow in question. “Does that mean it was a good trip?”
It’s an interesting question from someone who doesn’t know every detail of my unusual double honeymoon—just that I went on one. “You know, it really was,” I say. “I learned a lot about myself. What I want. What I don’t want.”
Her smile brightens as the salon owner scurries by, waving at us as he goes, adding a “Hi, gorgeous.”
Bronze is a friendly guy.
“Hi, boss,” I answer.
He rolls his eyes like he still hasn’t accepted he’s the man in charge.
Once he’s past, Briar returns to our convo. “Good. You deserve everything you want.”
“So do you,” I say as I snap off her smock. “How was your birthday?”
“It was good. I’ve been making some plans about expanding my business. I might take on a business partner,” she says.
“Ooh, that sounds exciting.”
With the smock off, she stands and gives me a thoughtful look. “You seem good for someone who didn’t get married. I’m glad. Sometimes the things that don’t happen are the best things.”
I let those words of wisdom sink in. Yeah, I think she’s right. “Words to live by, bestie,” I say, and we hug, then she leaves.
I clean up my booth for my next client and try not to think about the guys.
Truly I do.
I try to follow Elena’s advice.
But it’s not easy. I miss them so much. I do my best to put them out of my mind the rest of the day, and it’s a battle.
By the time work is over I’m worn out fighting it. I just want to go home and linger in memories as I take a shower and listen to music and binge a new show on my couch.
But I’d like my badge for resisting calling, texting, seeing, or asking them to see me.
When I get home, though, they’re waiting at the foot of the stoop of my building in the Mission.