This Will Hurt (This Will Hurt #1) Read Online Cara Dee

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, M-M Romance Tags Authors: Series: This Will Hurt Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70485 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
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2013 was a heartwarming series of photos. Roe and me with Colin in Culver City, Haley and me after a couple drinks, one with Roe, me, and Nikki—my family, in short. They were my family.

And the year had only just begun.

I finished my drink, then saw the images flash again—and…it started over.

1983.

“Jacob Casper Denver is born in Norfolk, Virginia. Future brother, high-school heartthrob, Marine, combat photographer, documentary filmmaker, father, podcaster, YouTuber, and the better half of Roe Finlay and Jake Denver…”

I swallowed hard, and the pounding music faded into the background.

Suddenly, my chest felt tight. Just seeing all those things listed like that did something to me—even more so because it was Roe who’d organized it all. He saw my achievements in a light I wasn’t sure I did myself.

These were the photos Haley had provided. The slideshow sped up to gloss over my youngest years, up until I graduated high school, then when I became a Marine.

I side-eyed Roe. He was watching the slides with an easy grin on his face.

At some point, I’d started preferring to observe the world through the lens of my camera. I’d completely forgotten that some people would see me too. No matter how hard I tried to blend into the background, I’d earned a leading role in a select few people’s lives—and I never wanted to take that for granted.

It was ironic. On the night Roe shone a bright spotlight on me, I saw him better.

I couldn’t fucking lose him.

In the light of the slideshow, his eyelashes seemed longer. His dimples more pronounced. He had faint freckles too. His eyes…captivatingly beautiful. And his grin, always so infectious.

If he married his girlfriend, chances were he’d move out. No husband about to become a father stayed with his buddy and roommate. I saw no alternative outcome. He was gonna pass the leading role over to his wife and child. Nothing else made sense. They’d live in their own house.

I glanced back at the screen as 2010 reappeared.

“Jake meets Roe, and nothing was ever the same.”

I swallowed again, picturing the year to come. Pages that were still unwritten.

2014. “Jake gets demoted to secondary character.”

I needed a new drink.

*

Alcohol was good. Alcohol was great. But Roe was my drug. Wrapped up in a thick vodka haze, I was sober enough to know I was getting possessive but drunk enough not to give a flying fuck. When Seth and his girlfriend, Dominique—and her friend Alexis or Alexa—told me it was time to hit the dance floor, I went willingly because Roe was eager to join.

I downed my drink and disappeared into the crowd. Gina and Gabe from Little GNG Productions came with us, and with a smirky look and a silent question from Gina, I found my partner. As long as I stayed close to Roe, I was good to play along. And Gina was safe. Happily married to Neil, who didn’t like to dance.

I spun her into my arms and gave her cheek a smooch at the same time as Roe pulled Alexis-Alexa close next to us.

We were packed like sardines, moving to the quick, semi-seductive R’n’B beat, and Gina made it easy for me. She was a good dancer and lost herself in the music, her back to my chest, and I kept a loose grip on her hips and peered down. Tight leather pants hugging the curves of her ass and thighs—and nothing. I liked her. I liked working with her on Travel Back. She was fun and incredibly talented. But I was more focused on Roe’s hands on Alexis-Alexa’s hips than on Gina’s ass.

I shook my head quickly, my vision feeling more unfocused. Fuck, definitely drunk. A liquid heat flowed through me, and I sent a skyward glance toward the blurry balloons on the ceiling and let out a labored breath.

It was hot and dizzying, and I lasted about six songs before I was too thirsty to stick around.

Roe suggested the roped-off area in the eastern corner next to the terrace and told Gina and me to go ahead. He’d get us drinks.

“No detours!” I told him. He was mine tonight. I needed to get my fill if he was on his way out of my life, if only partly. Call me sick—that was how I felt.

He threw me a lopsided grin, and I detected surprise and confusion in his eyes, but he nodded in understanding. He probably guessed I wanted him as a social barrier, even though I always lost that desire once I started seeing two of everyone.

Gina and I squeezed through the crowd, and we picked up Neil and a few others on the way. Jason, Kai, and Sonny worked with us on and off on Nomads, a team of brilliant editors and digital artists.

“Awesome party, Jake!” Jason hollered.

“It’s all Roe!” I called back. Gina grabbed my hand, still in a dancing mood, and I grinned and twirled her around as a guard let us through to the private area. She smiled drunkenly and shimmied her hips to the beat, then danced over to her husband.


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