Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
“I didn’t know it was you,” I say, my eyes not coming up to see him. “I wouldn’t have come.”
His voice comes out soft, softer than ever. “I’m glad you did,” he says, and I look up at him. He looks like he is going to say something else, but Candace returns.
“Sorry for that. It was my mother. She’s on her way out here, and she’s nervous.” She sits down and doesn’t pick up anything.
“I’m going to leave you to do what you need to do,” I say, getting up, and with Candace here, he doesn’t say anything even though his eyes say everything. Defeat, sadness, hopelessness. I know because my eyes mimic his.
“How about I just meet you at Neiman Marcus?” I put my jacket on, and she just nods at me. I force a smile on my face and just nod and walk out.
The cold air cuts right through me, but I don’t feel it. I feel nothing. I just walk away from him, away from the pain, except it follows me. Everything follows me—the memories, the laughter, and then the heartache. The memory of him so tempted to slip back to what he is fighting so hard to run away from. But no matter how hard or how far I try to run, he’s there with me, and there is nothing that I can do to close it off.
Chapter Thirty-One
Viktor
Candace goes on and on, and I can’t even focus on what she’s saying. And if I’m honest, I couldn't care less. She could be telling me all the secrets in the world, and the only thing I can think of is getting my heart back to beating normal.
Seeing Zoe for the first time in three weeks knocked me back. I imagined how it would be, kept playing it over and over in my head how it would go. What I would say, how I would beg her to wait for me, but the minute I finally saw her, it all went out the window, and the only thing I wanted to do was to feel her, hug her, make her laugh, and kiss her.
Instead, all I could do was sit and look at her. She looks like she lost weight and isn’t sleeping, and it’s all my fault. I did that, no one else but me. For the past three weeks, I’ve been trying to find out what I can about her. I listen to Max and Matthew talk about their family things, hoping one of them will drop her name. I sit next to Evan to see if he says anything, but they haven’t said anything.
Not one single word about how she’s doing. The only time I get a glimpse of her is on Zara’s Instagram. The only thing in my life not suffering is my game. I’m faster, I’m stronger, and I’m meaner. My points are through the roof, and I’m playing so much more physical than I’ve ever played. Everyone sees it, yet no one is saying anything except for Max. He pushes me even more when we are in the gym. It’s like he knows that it’s my outlet.
“If you have anything else to add, I’m more than happy to take any suggestions,” Candace says, and I just shake my head. “You have to be the easiest person to work with,” she says and gets up. “But I’m here if you need anything.” I follow her lead and get up and walk out with her. I shake her hand and then turn. My hand goes straight to my phone, and I call Jeffrey.
“I saw her,” I say when he answers the phone. “I saw her, and it was worse than I ever imagined it would be.”
“Where are you?” he asks right away. For the past three weeks, he’s been by my side every single time I wanted to talk about Zoe, even if it was about nothing.
“I’m standing in the middle of the street kicking myself for not going after her. For not running after her and begging her to give me a chance to stick it out. Letting her know that I made the decision not to go down that road before she walked in,” I tell him, my chest hurting as I say it. “Letting her know that I’m stronger than that.”
“Well, then, why didn’t you?” he asks, and I give him the answer that hurts the most.
“Because fear got me. The fucking fear that she didn’t care that I didn’t do it and that it wasn’t good enough,” I tell him, and I just shake my head.
“You stupid son of a bitch. How about you come over here and let Becky fawn all over you?” he says sarcastically.
“I think I’ll hit up a meeting first, then maybe I’ll come over,” I tell him and walk toward the meeting. I don’t talk during this one, and when I get out, all I want to do is go home and chill. I open the door, and the place is as quiet as can be. Sometimes it’s too quiet, and I play music just to make it a bit livelier.