Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
“Oh, come on.” She stands up now. “You’ve never just had fun?”
“No,” I tell her. “I’ve never fucked just to fuck, Vivienne. Not before and not now.” I shrug. “It’s just not who I am.”
“Well, it’s me,” she says, folding her arms over her chest. “It’s who I am.” I just nod at her and block out the sound of my heart echoing in my ears.
“You deserve better,” I tell her softly. “I deserve better.” I walk back to her bedroom and get my shoes and my jacket. I don’t look at the bed that I just lay with her in, the bed that still has my head print on the pillow.
“What are you doing?” she says from the doorway.
“I’m getting my stuff,” I tell her, sitting on the bench in front of her bed.
“You’re just going to leave?” she says, throwing up her hands. “I told you I didn’t do relationships.” Her voice gets louder. “I never hid that from you.”
“Yeah, you did,” I say, slipping my shoe on. “I also told you that I want a relationship.” I stand, slipping on my jacket. “I don’t do casual. I don’t have just anyone in my life. I don’t have anyone ever come into my home like that. They call me Private Mark because I’m private. I want someone who is going to grow with me, someone I can turn to when I have a bad day. I want someone to share my future with.” I look down. “I thought that was where we were going.” She shakes her head, looking at me. “But I guess I was the only one in this,” I tell her. I walk to her, and I want to kiss her one last time. I want to hold her one last time. I want to beg her on my knees to give us a chance. I want to tell her all the ways I pictured us together. I want to tell her there is no other person I want to be with but her. But I don’t. Instead, I walk past her, and whisper, “Goodbye Vivienne.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Vivienne
“Goodbye, Vivienne,” he says, and my heart stops beating; it flatlines. The sound of the door slamming and the click of the lock make it final.
He doesn’t do casual. I hear his words over and over again in my head, and I run to the bathroom, making it just in time before the pizza rises and fills the toilet. I flush and sit down on the floor, the cold tile shooting through me, but I don’t feel anything. I feel nothing, just as I always do. “It’ll be okay,” I tell myself. “It’s better now and not later.”
I get up on shaky legs and walk to my office, grabbing my cell phone and sitting down on my chair at my desk. My finger dials the only person who I want right now.
“Hello,” she answers. I hear the commotion in the background, and I almost hang up. “Vi.” Her voice goes soft, and then I don’t hear the commotion anymore. “Hey, you there?”
“Yeah,” I say out loud, but it comes out low and high at the same time. “Just checking in,” I say, clearing my throat.
“The guys just got back.” She points out something I already know. “Wait,” she says. “Where are you?”
“Home,” I say one word. “Go back to the gang and call me later,” I say, hanging up before she has a chance to answer. I lean back in my chair and look out the window at the darkness outside. I don’t know how long I sit here staring off into the distance. Getting up, I finally walk to the living room and pick up the leftover pizza sitting in the open box. The two plates both with the uneaten pieces of pizza just sitting there. I shut the box when I hear a knock on the door. My eyes fly up, and my heart speeds up. I stand here, wondering if I should answer it when the knock comes again. This time a bit harder and then harder right after. My feet take off before my brain, and I swing the door open, holding my breath and expecting to see a tall guy with my brown eyes and black hair. Except it’s not. She has blond hair and tears in her eyes almost like she’s afraid.
“Oh my God,” Karrie says, running in to take me in her arms. “I got so scared.” She wraps me into her arms, and the first tear slips out. She moves out of my arms and puts her hands on my arms and looks at me. “What happened?”
“What are you doing here?” I ask her as another tear slips out, and I swing my hand so fast it flies off my face before it even falls.