Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
“It was my birthday.” She puts the glass down softly and then turns to me, and I see the tears running down her face. “He was going to meet me at four, so I went out with Karrie to celebrate.” She puts her head back and looks up at the ceiling, and then looks back at me. “I saw them on my way home.” I don’t say anything, and again, for the second time tonight, I put my hands in my pockets instead of going to her. “I knew he was married. I found out after four months,” she says, and two more tears roll down her face. She turns around and takes another shot, this time hissing and then wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I know I disgust you with all this.” She starts to talk, and I feel like with those words, she just shattered me. “I had an affair with a married man.
“But he told me he was leaving her,” she says loudly. “And I believed him until I saw them that day. She was getting out of the car with him and she turned around to say something to him, and I saw her stomach.” She swallows now and puts her hands to her mouth. “That night, he came over, and I kicked him out.”
“Do you love him?” I ask the only question I really care, the only question that really matters.
She shakes her head. “No.” She folds her hands together and wrings them. “At the time, I thought I did,” she answers softly. “I was ending this tonight,” she says, and I look at her, not getting it. “This whole being friends with you. I was ending it because I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“Why?” I ask her, my mind begging her to say it.
She walks away from me and goes to the window and looks out, and I wait with bated breath for her to say anything at this point. She turns around. “When Scott left, it took me three days not to think about him,” she says. “Three days and then it took me seven days to think back when was the last time I thought of him.” She turns back to look outside, and I hear her. “It’s been two months since I’ve felt your kiss, and I haven’t gone ten minutes without thinking about you.” My heart beats so fast and so hard, but I don’t know how to react. She turns back and now the tears are just pouring out of her, and she looks at me. “I love you,” she says. “Like love, love you. Like my world would shatter without you.” Her breath hitches while she tries to keep her composure. “I knew I liked you. I knew, but tonight, seeing Scott …” She takes her hand and wipes away the tears. “The only thing that I could think about was you not finding out what a horrible person I was. Hoping that even with all this, you could somehow …” She puts her hands on her stomach.
“Are you done?” I ask her, not wanting to cut her off but not wanting another minute to go on where she thinks I’m judging her. “I want you to know before anything and above everything, I will never judge you.” Her eyes open a bit more. “I love you.”
“What?” she whispers almost as if she doesn’t believe it. “Even after …?”
“When you left me, I told my father about you,” I say, and she gasps. “Told him I lost the girl I loved, and he said if I loved you, I wouldn’t just let you get away.” I take a step closer to her. “I sat there outside on my patio with my heart broken, and my father told me that if I let you just walk away, then I didn’t really love you.” I take another step to her. “So I made a plan.” Another step. “To make you see that you loved me.” I finally stand in front of her and now my hand comes out and stops the tear from rolling down her cheek. “I knew you loved me. You were just scared.” She nods her head. “You can’t just walk away from me, Vivienne, because I’d follow you,” I tell her. “I’d follow you wherever you go. As long as I’m with you, everything is okay.” I smile. “I was ending it tonight, too.” Her mouth opens. “I was done giving you space. I was done with the games and showing you I loved you. I was done not waking up with you or going to bed with you. I was done with not telling you.”
“I’m done running,” she finally says. “I’m done with it all.”
“Can I kiss you now?” I ask, my voice almost a whisper.