Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 139662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 698(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 698(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Chapter Thirty-One
It’s dark when I wake, and I’m immediately aware of Finn next to me. His even breathing as he sleeps, warmth radiating from him.
I roll over to see the stars twinkling in the sky above me. We’re on the rooftop terrace of the cottage in Staraelia—the mountain home Finn gave me back before he knew I was Mab’s descendant. Someone brought a bed up here so I could heal while sleeping under the stars. Heal while sleeping next to my beloved, my tethered match, the one I draw strength from.
I need to get up and find Jas, or someone who can tell me where she is. I need to make plans with Sebastian. But I don’t want to leave this bed. I want to hold on to this moment for as long as I can. I never thought I’d be here again—under the stars, in Finn’s arms. Even in my strongest, most optimistic moments inside that tomb, the best I’d hoped for was to see his face again.
Finn stirs beside me, and when I turn my head, he’s awake and watching me. “How are you?” he asks.
“I’m okay,” I say. “Thanks to you.”
“And thanks to Sebastian. He brought you to me.”
“But you . . .” I swallow hard, but it does little to keep the emotions bubbling inside me at bay. “I had to pull power from you.”
He finds my hand between our bodies and brings it to his chest, pressing it there against his heart. “We looked everywhere. Ten days you were missing, and we couldn’t find any sign of you or Sebastian. Arya was using her power to shield her mountain stronghold. It could’ve been right before our eyes and we would’ve missed it. I’ve never been so scared.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I can’t imagine how I would’ve felt if our roles had been reversed. I’m not sure I want to.
“When I suddenly felt you drawing from me, I could’ve wept.”
“Did I hurt you?”
He shakes his head. “No. You drew a lot of power from me, but less than I had to give. I only cared that it meant you were alive. Shortly after that, the shield was down—it fell once you’d killed her—and my people were able to find you and Sebastian and bring you home.”
Home. Yes, here with Finn certainly feels like home to me, but I wonder if anywhere feels like home to Sebastian after being sacrificed by his own mother and forced to kill his best friend.
“You wielded your shadow self.” Finn strokes my cheek. “I didn’t know you could control her.”
“I couldn’t,” I admit. “Not so long as she scared me.”
“You’re not afraid of her anymore?”
I shake my head. “After days in that tomb, it was easier to face the darkest corners of myself. I’ve been hurt and betrayed. I’ve been angry for so many years. And I’ve hated those parts of me—the bitter, hardened, brittle pieces. But that is who I am. I’ll never be sunshine and smiles like Jas. Once I accepted that, accepted that there is this darker, crueler part of me, only then could I control her.”
“It’s so good to see these eyes looking at me again.” He drags in a ragged breath. “I shouldn’t have let you go without me. I should’ve been there to protect you.”
“Arya’s dead,” I say, though I don’t quite believe it myself. “She’s gone. We’ll be okay.”
He nods, his eyes never moving from my face.
“I know we need to get these courts sorted out—need to figure out what the future looks like.”
He huffs out a breath. “All that matters is that you’re safe. The rest can wait.” He hooks one arm over me and the other under me before burying his face in my chest. His whole body trembles. “I cannot lose you.”
I brush my fingers through his hair. “I’m right here. Don’t give up on me.”
“Never.” Finn presses a firm kiss to my sternum, right over my heart. He swallows. “We owe a great deal to Sebastian. When you killed the queen, the power of the golden court passed to him. When I realized what I was feeling in his presence, I half expected him to head to the Court of the Sun and claim the throne. I underestimated him.”
“What will he do?”
“Rule both courts just like he always planned,” Finn says softly. “With you by his side, of course.”
“How will that even work?”
Finn shakes his head. “We don’t really know, but Juliana’s gathered the priestesses, and they’re working on it. We all agree that the first step is getting you both safely to the River of Ice so you can solidify your bond and officially take the Throne of Shadows together. This time, we’ll send an entire battalion with you.”
“But the queen’s dead. Do you think someone else is after us?”