Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 82896 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82896 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
“Clover is too accepting. I can’t stand him telling me that what happened wasn’t that big of a deal. You weren’t there, Tank. It was…” He went quiet, clearly deciding some things were best left unsaid.
“He’s been acting different since then, I didn’t know the half of it. And then you disappear all the time and leave him alone with it? I know you’ve been through shit, but isolation doesn’t help anyone.” Tank hesitated but patted Drake’s shoulder. “He wants you back. And I do too.”
Drake flinched, but didn’t try to shift away from the touch like he would have before Clover had managed to open him up to casual physical contact. “He had you. Do you really think the man who… did this to him should be the one trying to pick up the pieces? No matter what he says, my presence reminds him of the worst moments of his life,” Drake said, finally pulling away.
Since there was no movement between their position and the building, Tank turned to look into Drake’s eyes. “You were the one to tell me I can’t protect him from everything. You were right. So why are you trying to protect him from yourself when he’s crying for you to come back? If you respect him, give him the choice instead of making it for him.”
Drake’s face remained tense, his eyes trained on the glow from the property in the distance. “He only does this because he’s missing the good times, not because he actually needs me. I’m not good for him, Tank, okay? I did this. It’s my fault.”
Tank put his arm over Drake’s shoulders, wary to take it away if Drake didn’t want the touch. His body was pure muscle and deadly perfection, yet he seemed so fragile Tank worried touching Drake might break him.
“You were forced to. This is exactly the torment Apollo wanted to inflict. Clover is far from fine, he is still working through what happened, but it feels like you haven’t moved forward even an inch. If he could forgive you, you should forgive yourself too.”
Drake didn’t pull away, his throat working slowly, but the fact that he wasn’t snapping right back to stop the sensitive conversation, like he continuously had for the past four months, was progress. “I’ve become just like the people who did the same to me. And I promised I’d protect him. When push came to shove, I couldn’t even do that,” he choked out.
Feeling no resistance, Tank pulled Drake into a hug. “He told me you killed two men who threatened and beat him. They would have done so much worse. You did the best you could in a bad situation. Was there any better choice you can think of now?”
Drake gave a raspy exhale. “No. Not at that point. But I keep thinking that for him, I’m like those horrible people from my past. Can’t imagine seeing any of them and not wanting to put them six feet under. If he can, he is a far better person.”
Tank stroked Drake’s silky hair with surprising relief. Having Drake back and being able to talk like this took a whole lot of weight off Tank’s shoulders. “Were the roles reversed, and Clover hurt you this way under Apollo’s threat, would you not have forgiven him?” They were getting somewhere here, after months of obstructive behavior, and it felt almost as if Boar’s proximity already had an influence on them.
Drake’s silence spoke volumes. Then, a bitter laugh. Drake rubbed his face, slouching forward. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is about me.”
Tank stroked Drake’s back, so incredibly elated that he was allowed to do this again. “Talk to him. He misses you.” Tank’s throat tightened when he looked at the pale face in the dark. He leaned in, tempted by the warmth of Drake’s body and whispered with his lips against Drake’s hair. “I miss you.”
Tank thought Drake had been still before, but he froze, no longer breathing and likely not blinking either. His face moved up in a jerk, and he met Tank’s gaze. “Me?”
Tank frowned. “Of course. We’ve been living together for seven years, idiot. You’re the only one who’s a challenge to race, I miss your snarky comments about every single TV show we watch, and no one’s there to mock my handstands. It’s not the same without you.”
Drake’s expression was supremely hard to read, but when he caught Tank’s gaze from up close, for the tiniest moment the corners of his mouth twitched. “I bet you tell that to everyone. What’s your line for Pyro?”
Tank snorted. “Asshole. Pyro used to be fun to be around before he started snorting coke again. And I really liked watching him fuck Clover. He’s an animal. To be honest, I miss seeing you with Clover. It was so hot when you tied him up, got him all whimpery and moaning for more.”