The Wrong Guy – Cold Springs Read Online Lauren Landish

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 99748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 499(@200wpm)___ 399(@250wpm)___ 332(@300wpm)
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Chrissy starts to speak, but Etta holds up one finger and turns to the room at large. “Anybody wanting to be up in my business needs to know it requires six figures, verifiable by bank statement, 25/8 availability, and the ability to recognize the difference between beer and that piss they call Natural Light. If that ain’t you, mind your own.” She twirls her finger in the air, indicating everyone should go back to what they were doing.

Mike leans over and whispers to me, “Ya think she means her business, like the bar, or her business-business?” When I stare at him stonily, he lifts his brows. “I mean, I qualify.”

“Roscoe, play a game with this asshole while I try to keep Etta outta jail this time. And explain that six figures means before the decimal point, not including the cents.”

He hops up quickly. “On it, boss.”

I ain’t his boss, not really. And Etta’s never been to jail, that I know of. But you could cut the tension in here with a plastic spork, and I’ve got my aunt’s back, no matter what.

I slow walk over to a table close to Etta and Chrissy, lifting my chin at the couple sitting there. I don’t know them from Adam, but they know me and Etta are kin, so the guy scoots over a bit, giving me space to sit. I smile my appreciation and tune in to Etta so I can eavesdrop.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Chrissy says. She sounds . . . choked, but Etta hasn’t had time to wrap her hands around her throat since I last looked over there. Hopefully.

Etta huffs. “So you came to the one place you’re not welcome. Genius move, Chrissy.”

“I know, but that’s why. Because he’d never think to look for me here,” Chrissy says, almost sounding depressed and amused at the same time. It’s a weird sound. “Hell, he wouldn’t dare come here if you rolled out a red carpet and sent him a gold-embossed invitation. That’s why I’m here.”

Etta’s silent long enough that I get worried and peek over my shoulder. But Etta hasn’t moved, other than tilting her head a bit as she peers at her former friend.

“He hurt you?” Etta’s voice has gone cold steel. She’s probably plotted out four new ways to kill Jed Ford in the last two seconds. Which is impressive, not because of the speed, but because she can still come up with new ways to do something she’s pondered for decades. I heard her listing them off to my mom one time when they were drunk. Etta got to “strangle him with an anaconda” before she got too carried away with a case of the beer giggles to continue.

“Yes. Well, no. Not like . . . physically. But—”

“Chrissy,” Etta sighs, “I don’t give a shit if he hurt your feelings or took away your credit cards or whatever else you think I’m going to care about. We’re not friends, and I don’t feel sorry for you. You made your bed over and over again. You chose this life every night when you went to sleep and every morning when you got up.”

“He’s cheating on me,” Chrissy blurts out.

I cough to cover my chuckle. Not about the infidelity—anyone doing something like that is a piece of shit in my book—but the irony of Chrissy coming to Etta of all people about this is a little too on the nose.

“And this is somehow shocking news? Ever heard the expression ‘a leopard don’t change its spots’?” Etta answers dryly.

I’m guessing that’s not the reaction Chrissy was expecting about her not-at-all surprising news.

“He’s not like that. Or he didn’t used to be. I’m sorry for what happened all those years ago, but we’ve been happy. It wasn’t until the whole construction thing here in Cold Springs went to hell that everything changed. He was devastated, Etta. Embarrassed and angry. It changed him, and now he’s been traveling so much. That’s why I went to the hotel to surprise him.”

“I’m guessing you were the one who got surprised?” Etta asks, one brow kicked up sardonically. I see Chrissy nod. “So why’re you defending him, then? You’re sitting here making excuses for him when I can see the tears in your eyes.”

Chrissy shrugs. “It’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is. You gonna put up with that or not? Decide that and go from there,” Etta suggests flatly, actually giving reasonable advice. “Way I see it, you got three choices. You can get marriage counseling, you could invite her in and be a throuple, or you get a divorce. It’s all your call.”

Still arguing, Chrissy repeats, “It’s not that simple. She’s young. Can’t be a day over thirty, and pregnant. Like ‘bouncing on top of Jed with her boobs going every which way and her belly big and round’ type of pregnant.” She gestures at her chest, one hand going clockwise and one going counterclockwise like swinging tassels, and then mimes a pregnant stomach large enough to house a full-term calf.


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