Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 109(@250wpm)___ 91(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 109(@250wpm)___ 91(@300wpm)
“Don’t be sorry,” I say, leaning up to kiss his chin. “There’s supposed to be pain the first time. Everyone says so.” There’s a press of heat at the backs of my eyelids. I enjoyed it so much. Much more than I should have. I think I saw outer space. That’s what I want to say to him, but why tell him what he already knows? Didn’t he say I was born for intercourse? Yes, he did. A truth I always feared to be true. Swallowing, I drop my legs from his hips and straighten my dress. “I have to leave here as soon as possible.”
“Excuse me?” Abruptly, he stops breathing. And it’s very noticeable, because only seconds before, he was panting as if he’d just swam across the Atlantic. “What was that?”
His sharp tone halts my movements. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” That wasn’t…a flash of hurt in his cobalt eyes, was it? Regret? No, it’s just irritation. “I’ll sleep in with Curtis tonight and we’ll go in the morning.”
Sebastian stands stock still as I move around him, jogging in the direction of the room beneath the stairs. Before I can duck out of sight, however, I’m reminded of something I’ve always wanted to do. Five years ago, when Sebastian saved me from falling off the side of the cliff on his property, I was so shaken that I’m not sure I thanked him properly. I’m pretty sure I blubbered and sniffled into his chest until my legs were wobbly enough to carry me again, then I ran for the safety of my mother. I’m going to remedy my lack of manners now or I will always regret it.
Garnering the last of my bravery for the evening, I wheel around and call out his name. “Sebastian?”
He looks shell shocked. “Yes.”
“I’m not sure…I don’t think I ever said thank you for what you did that day. Catching my hand before I could go over the side of the cliff. You saved my life.” I lay a hand on the doorframe leading to the room below the stairs. “Thank you.”
I wait a few beats for him to say anything, but he only continues to stare at me like he’s seen a ghost. There’s no denying this…consuming urge to return to his arms. To once again soothe whatever storm is raging behind his beautiful eyes. It costs all of my effort to carry myself into the room with my brother and close the door. But there’s no closing the door between me and the newer, hotter burn inside of me. The burn which has now become a rampant pyre, thanks to Sebastian Spears. And so once again, I have to do the hard thing. The right thing. I have to bury my nature to get back on the right path.
4
Sebastian
Watching Chloe vanish out of my sight, I feel as though the world is crumbling beneath my feet. She’s the girl. She’s…the girl I caught at the last possible second all those years ago? That’s where my sense of recognition came from. There was something about her glowing optimism and soulful hazel eyes that prodded my memory, but she’s grown up and turned into a woman. My attraction to the woman blotted out recollections of the girl. Blotted out everything—especially my humanity. My decency. My conscience.
My God.
I just fucked that teenage virgin like a wild animal in heat.
Goaded her into calling me Daddy.
Came inside of her without protection.
The worst part is, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I don’t even think she would make it two steps inside my front door before I was pumping my cock between her thighs. Not now. Now when I’ve discovered how unbelievably tight her pussy is. The kind of tight that rules a man’s fucking life, makes him change his ways. Addicts him.
And it’s not just what she’s got between her thighs.
It’s the light shining inside of her. It illuminates the darkness inside of me and scares away the demons lurking there when I’m looking into her eyes. When I’m touching her smooth skin and breathing in her feminine scent. All those years ago, when I held the girl version of her in my arms, I remember marveling over her innate goodness, the purity of her gaze. That gentleness paired with a daring streak was so goddamn endearing, I continued to think of the girl long after she ran off to go find her mother.
Now I’ve defiled her.
I’ve made her first time about my raw lust. Getting the edge off.
No care went into the act. I’ve traumatized her. Of course she’s leaving.
Of course she’s running as far and as fast as she can from me.
I’m a monster.
My God, I only meant to call her bluff. I never expected her to follow through on our deal. Sex in exchange for my generosity. This poor girl had no choice but to open her thighs for me. I didn’t give her a choice. And it was so unbearable, she can’t stand the idea of doing it again, so she’s leaving. Jesus Christ, what have I done?