Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Dr. Mitch cuts a look at my mom, who nods, and I head into the hallway behind him. The scent of disinfectant and rubber makes me want to throw up because I always associated that scent with my mom being in the hospital. I hate it. Wrapping my arms around myself, I look up at the doctor. "If this is about money, I can get whatever we need to proceed, I promise, even if I have to quit school and get a job. I will do what needs to be done. Please don’t deny her services just because we don’t have insurance."
The doctor's eyes soften, and he leans closer. "This has nothing to do with the money. We have benefactors here at the hospital who can help. I think it’s time to consider your options. Your mother is tired. She doesn’t want to spend the rest of her final days fighting an inevitable battle. You need to understand that, even if it’s not your wishes, it’s your mother’s.”
I snap. "No. I don't care what she wants. Once it's over, she'll be alive and grateful that I stepped in and convinced her to do this."
He shakes his head at me. "I know this is hard, Maybel, but I do have to consider what your mother wants."
I suck a ragged breath into my lungs, but it doesn’t even feel like I’m breathing. "I'll talk to her again. I'll convince her."
“You can try your best, but please remember your mother’s wishes are important as well.” I nod and blink back the tears forming in my eyes. I will not break down here. Not in front of him or my mother.
We walk back into the room, and I take my mother's hand again. "Mom, will you try this drug, this experiment, for me? What do we have to lose if you're..." I almost choke on the words. "Dying...anyway."
I need her to see how much losing her is hurting me. I’m not ready. I can’t face this.
"Baby, we can't. We don't have the money for it, and I'm not letting you quit school for me."
"If I got the money without quitting school, then would you agree?"
She snorts, her eyes going hazy as the pump beside the bed administers another dose of medication into her IV. "You're not going to become a stripper, are you?"
I laugh. "Yeah, because everyone wants to see my pasty white body on display. I doubt there is a big demand for book nerd strippers out there.” I shake my head. “No, of course I won't become a stripper."
Dr. Mitch steps up to the bed, staring at my mother. "Does this mean you want to proceed?"
She nods wearily, and I almost feel guilty, but not enough to take it back. She’s all I have. Once the doctor leaves, I sit in the chair again and try not to let the panic I'm feeling seep into my voice.
"Don't worry, Mom, I'll take care of you, of this. We'll beat it together."
She turns in the bed, careful not to catch her IV tubing. "How are you getting this money? And tell me the truth, because sick or not, you’re not too old to get a spanking."
"Tutoring, as usual. I'll just raise my fees, you know, for inflation. No one will think anything of it.”
Her gaze has so much trust as she looks at me, and I will not balk from it. She's given me everything my entire life, raised me as a single mother and worked numerous jobs just to provide me with the things I needed. I can do this for her.
My phone vibrates in my bag, and I already know who is trying to get ahold of me. He can wait. Every person except my mother can wait. I settle into the chair and avert my gaze to the TV, enjoying this single moment with my mother for what it is.
CHAPTER 25
DREW
What I hate more than anything is being ignored. Now do I know with one-hundred percent certainty that she’s ignoring me? No. What I do know is that she isn’t replying, and to me, that’s the same fucking thing. It’s been a few days since she agreed to tutor me, and one more since she set this appointment, all via text. But now, she’s no longer responding.
I'm barely keeping myself from going to hunt her down as I sit alone in the library, thirty minutes past when she said she'd be here. I grab my phone off the table next to my textbook and send her yet another message, this time, filled with more expletives than the others.
When she hadn't messaged me back for our last meeting, I checked the devices of hers I'd cloned from that time Jackie allowed me access to in her room. She went to see her mother in the hospital. That's the only reason I didn't press her.