Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
My phone vibrates beside me, and I snatch it up, hoping it’s a client. The number for the hospital flashes across the screen, and I hit the green answer button and press the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
"Ms. Jacobs, this is Dr. Mitch. I’m just calling because your mother missed her appointment today, and she's not answering my calls now. I'm worried. I was going to send an ambulance, but I wanted to call and check with you first."
Time stands still. My heart is lodged in my throat so tight, I have to clear it. "What, what do you mean? I thought her appointment was tomorrow morning. That's what she told me. I was going to come with her."
"I'm afraid not. She was due to come in today. For the first of the experimental treatments she signed up for."
I sigh. Mom, what are you doing? Knowing how apprehensive in the beginning she was to do this, I’m not really surprised. She probably thought she could skip it without me knowing.
"I'll go check on her. Is it too late to show up for the appointment?"
"No, it's just a simple injection. You can come anytime. Please let me know if she is okay, though. I need to confirm."
“Of course. I’ll be in touch soon.”
I hang up the phone, grab my purse, and run out the door. Rushing to my car, I throw the door open, climb inside, and turn the key, bringing the engine to life. I back out of my spot and start toward the house. Part of me is angry. Why would she lie to me like that after all I'm doing to help her? But at the same time, fear gnaws at me from the inside that something is wrong, that something's happened to her. It will kill me if something has happened.
I race through town, watching for cops so I don't get pulled over and screech into my mom's driveway. I slam the brake in place and rush to the door. Of course, it's locked, and my fingers are shaking so bad, I fumble with the keys to unlock the knob and the deadbolt.
Inside, I spot my mom on the couch, eyes closed, completely still. My heart drops into my stomach. "No." It comes out in a rush of breath. I slide on my knees across the old carpet to her side. "Mom."
I give her a shake, feeling the warmth of her skin. "Mom. Mom. Please wake up."
She flicks her eyes open slowly, then focuses, rearing back. "Baby, what's wrong?"
Slowly, she swipes at the tears I didn't notice on my cheeks. I bow my head against her hands and let the tears fall, my whole body shaking. "I'm sorry I thought...the doctor called me, and I thought something had happened."
I sit back on the floor and wipe my face while she sits up. "Baby, I..."
"Why did you lie to me?" I demand. "I would have been here to take you. I need to take you to these things so I feel like I'm doing something. Like I have some kind of control over what’s going on."
Her forehead wrinkles, and she tucks the blanket in around her tented knees. "I'm sorry, Bel. I don't know why I lied. I guess, I'm worried you’re throwing away your life and all your future opportunities for me. For what, a chance that I'll live another couple of years at most? You heard how experimental this drug is. I don't want you to throw away your life for me, and then I die anyway."
I hate hearing these words from her lips. I hate them so much that all I can do is lash out in anger. "Stop. Stop saying you're going to die. Medicine has progressed since the last time you were sick. You can beat this. You just have to fight it and stop fighting me. I want to help you, but I can’t if you refuse to listen to me.”
We sit in silence for a moment, and I hate the scared, defeated look on her face. I ease up on the couch beside her and lean my head against her chest like I did when I was a little girl. "I can't lose you, Mom. I'll do anything to keep you with me."
She hugs me tight, her arms wrapped around my body. "That's what I'm afraid of, baby, you doing anything and everything and regretting it a few years down the road."
I sink into her, let her hold me, and enjoy the scent of her shampoo and the way she feels comforting me, like she's always done. Every scraped knee, every heartbreak, all of it—she's been there for me. Now, I can be there for her, and she keeps pushing me away.
I pull back and look at her. "I understand your apprehension, Mom, but I’ll do anything to have another day with you. There’s no regret in being able to have more time with a loved one. If you’re up for it, the doctor says we can still go get your treatment." Standing now, I turn to face her. "Come on, I'll help you get cleaned up, and then we can go. Maybe stop for pancakes at the old diner while we’re out."