Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91504 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91504 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
The aggression on his face fades to desperation. Grief drips from each word, from the beaten-down positioning of his body. He extends one arm to press against the doorframe, almost as though he can’t keep himself upright.
The reality of it all leaves me stunned. I drop into Sarah’s chair.
“She was your girlfriend…” I trail off.
At his nod, I think back to Rebecca talking about her ex-boyfriend. The one she wanted back, the one she compared every other man to. Was that Gabriel?
“I had no idea.” I shake my head. “She came in one day and made an appointment, and I had no reason to believe she was anything but a patient. She never asked about you or anything.” I stop talking, because I’m dangerously close to breaching patient confidentiality. “I’m sorry,” I add.
“When did you start seeing her?” he asks.
I think back, gulp when I realize the timing. “Not long after you first came in.”
I expect him to go. To take himself and his grief outside. I certainly can’t be the one to help him, not after everything. But he just keeps talking, like we’re in session.
“She destroyed my life. One thing at a time. When I ended it—she had been my student, but not when we were dating, before.” He slides down the wall to sit on the floor, knees up, hands hanging helplessly over them. “When I ended it, she went to the other professors. My peers, my boss. She told them everything. I nearly lost my job. But she’s of age, and I wasn’t her professor at the time. Everything was always consensual. Then she started following me.” He shakes his head. “I’d thought she stopped, but she must’ve followed me here.”
Following him. Like I had.
My throat clenches, and I want to tell him to stop—to leave, because I don’t want to know. I don’t want it made any clearer to me how wrong I was all this time. But he just keeps talking.
“It got out of control. I threatened to go to the police. And for a little while I thought she finally understood things were over. But then she came to me at work, sobbing in my office about how much she missed me. She started to undress, and I said no. And that’s…” He pauses to take a deep breath. “That’s the night they died. The night she ruined my life. My wife would have never been out walking around that night if Rebecca hadn’t told her what we did.”
“I’m so sorry.” Useless words. I say them anyway, because I don’t know what else to offer.
Gabriel looks up, meets my eyes from across the room. “And that’s how it happened. That’s how my family ended up being killed by your husband.”
I gasp. He knows. He’s known all along, and now I know it for certain.
Gabriel lowers his gaze to the floor, shakes his head, and climbs to his feet like it takes great effort.
“Goodbye, Meredith.” He walks out the door, leaving it open behind him.
CHAPTER 38 Now
It’s too much to process.
Even after hours, my mind can’t seem to wrap around all of the information. Can’t wrap around how foolish I’ve been not to recognize that Gabriel was playing me all along. It doesn’t help that I’ve started drinking. Again. That never helps.
I need to talk to someone. My choices are limited. There’s my brother, but if I told him one-tenth of the crazy story I’m living, he’d be so worried he’d camp out on my couch and never leave. Plus, Jake has a family. I shouldn’t be his problem. I won’t be his problem. I could call Dr. Alexander, of course. But he’d want to delve into my psyche, try to convince me to let go. What I need is to delve into their psyches—Gabriel’s and Rebecca’s. Plus, there’s the matter of doctor-patient confidentiality. Because of that, there’s only one person I could really talk to about all this—Sarah. My patients sign forms allowing disclosure of confidential mental health information to my staff. After all, Sarah does the insurance billing, so she knows the diagnoses and patient histories.
But it’s nearly ten o’clock already, and she has Charlie. So I feel bad calling. Though after another glass of wine, I seem to get over it.
“Meredith?” she answers. “Is everything okay?”
“No. It’s not, Sarah. I need to talk to someone.”
“Say no more. I’ll be over in twenty minutes.”
“What about your son?”
“He’s with his father tonight.”
“Oh.” That makes me feel a little better about calling. “Thanks, Sarah. I appreciate it. I’ll see you soon.”
I finish my current glass of wine and have another before there’s a knock at my door. Sarah takes one look at me and her face falls.
“You look like shit, Mer. Did someone hurt you?”
I shake my head and step aside so she can enter. “No. Nothing like that. I promise.”