Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 50770 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50770 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
She painfully jerks my neck toward her and bruises my lips with her kiss. I’m gone. I’m lost, devoured by her, owned.
She pulls back suddenly. “So, what happened with her?”
“Who?” I play dumb.
Chloe crawls off my lap and lays down next to me. My head hits the pillow and I instantly grab her hand and squeeze it, staring up at the ceiling, wishing there were those cheesy plastic stars I could wish on.
All I see is white.
I wish I was the type of person who could look up and go wow an empty canvas, instead I look up and see nothing.
Just nothing.
If anyone asked me, I’d lie and say I saw an incredible future, visions, dreams, instead I just see nothingness and I wonder if my trauma led me to this place. I wonder what it’s like to just be able to draw on that canvas, to create your own path, your own future.
I won’t ever know.
So I keep my lies to myself.
I keep my secrets inside.
I keep things between my lips that are bursting to be told.
And I wait for her answer.
“Her,” she says like I should know, then turns to me, her hair tangling with the pillow. She grabs the blue blanket on my bed and holds it tight, almost twisting it between her fingers. “MB, the girl with Ambrose. Was she the one who broke your heart?”
I hesitate, then say, “I think I need something stronger than Twizzlers for this.”
“Probably.” She releases the blanket and grabs my hand, pulling me on top of her easily. “Are you over her?”
I’m worried that if I hesitate she’ll leave, just like I’m worried if I answer too soon, she’ll think I’m lying when really I’m where I’m supposed to be. “I’m over her.” I speak out. “In the romantic way you’re thinking, but she’s still close to here.” I hold Chloe’s hand to my chest and press it hard. “And she’ll always be a close friend, so if that means you’re uncomfortable, then… I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry, but I don’t abandon friends, and even though she’s with my best friend, I refuse to let either of them go.”
“Loyalty.” Chloe nods, pressing her hand even harder against my chest. “Who knew guys still had that?”
“Well, it could be because I’m an idiot, but, I will always be by their side even if I was the one who lost the girl, even if I was the knight that came too late, even if I was the lesser person, or even if I just wasn’t the right one. Hell, it could have even been my fault, but life is life and right now I’m trying hard to find what I want and right now in this moment I really want to kiss you and ignore the fact that my past has semi tried to jump up into my present, so can I? Can I just kiss you?”
Her eyes well with tears. She nods her head, her skin is smooth as I cup her cheeks, running my thumbs down to her lips like I’m already kissing her. Her skin is perfect, her lips plump and pink, I want to bite them. I’m feeling both aggressive and soft, what the hell is wrong with me?
I lean down the minute her chin knocks mine. So soft and sweet, her lips part and suddenly my tongue massages hers as our mouths meet, she moves her hips, I settle down on her body and forget my own name, she feels so good, too good.
Her hands reach for my hair, her nails dig into my head and draw down until she’s at my neck, keeping me pinned against her even though I’m the one on top.
All I keep thinking is, what a beautiful smile.
She’s all wonder and fire, she’s refreshing and new, she’s dare I say happy? And I want to think it’s for me.
“Listen,” She licks her pink swollen bottom lip. “Can we do this again? I’m asking for a redo from the other day.”
I frown. “We can, but why?”
“Because” —her eyes flicker from mine—“I just want to be awake for this one, I want to be yours, just yours.” Her eyes suddenly swell, filling with tears, one slowly slides down her cheek. “I know it’s weird, but please?”
I answer honestly. “I’ve known you two days and still, I think I’d give you the world, damn this whole insta love situation people always give people shit about, if you want a do over, that’s what I’ll do even if you hate me later, even if you leave me, aren’t we all allowed our moments?”
Another tear slides down her cheek, I catch it with my finger and bring my tongue to it, tasting it. “Bitter.”
“Always,” she says instantly. “Especially now.”
What does that even mean?
“But.” She continues. “You’re mine, for now, right?”