Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 91820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Leaving my words there, I lean back in my seat and watch her gorgeous, flushed face until the waiter reaches our table.
eleven
Dillon
I can hear the wash of the waves and the low hum of the air-conditioning that’s keeping me cool on this hot Maldivian night.
I should be sleeping.
Obviously, I’m not.
I can’t stop thinking about what West said to me earlier. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I thought of it all the way through dinner. Which I saw him at. But he was coming in as I was leaving to come back to my villa.
But seriously, I mean, who could sleep after hearing that?
Sex for two weeks, no strings.
I mean, firstly, a guy who looks like that wants to have sex with me. Um … best thing ever. My confidence is at an all-time high right now.
But …
And it’s a big but.
I’m fresh off heartbreak. And not the run-of-the-mill heartbreak. Ultimate betrayal. The Jerry Springer Show kind of betrayal.
If I’m being totally honest with myself, yes, I was hurt by what Tim did and the demise of our relationship. I thought I’d loved him. I wouldn’t have agreed to marry him if I didn’t think that. But now, looking back, I know that I was more in love with the idea of him and what he could give me—a family, security, love, happiness. All the things I’d never had, growing up.
I’ve never felt loved by my mum. We’ve never felt like a family. The only family I had growing up was my grandparents and my aunt Jenny. They’re my dad’s family. So, of course, Mum used me as a tool to get whatever she wanted from them. Which was almost always money.
She is a shitty parent.
But all of that aside, I am most hurt by her betrayal. I shouldn’t have been surprised. She’d spent my whole life finding ways to screw me over.
But even still, all the things she’s done over the years … the hurtful words she spat at me, the blows to my confidence she gave me, the friendships of mine she ruined … I never thought she would go as low as to sleep with my fiancé.
It hurts like hell when the one person who is supposed to love you and have your back stabs you in it.
So, yeah, getting involved with West might not be the best idea.
Sure, I’ve had one-night stands before. I did go to university.
But when I hooked up with those guys, I wasn’t putting the pieces of my broken heart back together. And I wasn’t currently on my honeymoon, alone.
My head is a mess. I mean, it’s only been a few weeks since I found out about their affair.
West is only offering a couple of weeks.
And it is only sex. I mean, we don’t even live on the same continent, for God’s sake. It’s not like I’ll see him again after this, and knowing that, there’s no way I’ll get attached to him.
And really, how attached could I get to someone in such a short period of time? I know West won’t get attached to me. He made that abundantly clear. Attachments are not his thing.
Why the hell am I making this into such a big deal? Why am I even thinking this through?
It would just be sex with a really, really good-looking guy. A holiday fling. People have them all the time. We’re only here for two weeks, and truthfully, it would be nice to not feel so shitty about myself.
Having sex makes you feel good. Great in fact. Especially when done with the right person who knows what they’re doing, and if West does sex as well as he talks about it, then I would be in for one hell of a fan-fucking-tastic time.
I’ll get to have a couple of weeks of great sex and then leave the island, high off all the sex we’ll have had, and I’ll be happy as a pig in shit. And I’ll take that feeling back home with me. I’ll be able to wear the good sex feelings that West will have given to me like an armor to protect myself from the reality that’s waiting at home for me.
And they do say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I’m not exactly sure who they are, but if it is the right way to get over heartbreak, then who better to get under than West?
So, I can lie here, lamenting over my crappy life, or I can go have sex with the hot American.
Hmm. Tough choice.
I sit up and slide my legs over the side of the bed.
But …
What if I do start to like him? What if I get attached and when it’s time to say good-bye, I’m sad, and I have no good feelings to take back home with me? Just more sadness.