Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
CHAPTER 21
Holland
The bright morning sun casts a harsh contrast against the somber mood as I drive toward the funeral home. My heart feels lodged in my throat, making every breath a struggle. It’s been two days since Trey broke up with me, and I’ve been working tirelessly to get everything in order for my return trip to Zurich. The idea of running the printshop feels like a distant dream, a fantasy that crumbled alongside my relationship with Trey. I’ve decided not to turn the shop over to my mother, though. Instead, I’ve employed a broker to sell it. Now, all that’s left is to say my final goodbye to Wade before I leave.
Pulling into the funeral home parking lot, I’m hit with a wave of déjà vu. This is the same place where we held my father’s service. The memories flood back, mingling with the current pain, making it almost unbearable. I force myself out of the car, straighten my black dress and inhale deeply before letting it out.
I can do this.
I have to.
Inside, the atmosphere is thick with grief and quiet murmurs. The Blackburn family stands at the front, greeting guests. They’re all dressed in black, their faces stoic masks. Tommy and Fi are side by side, accepting condolences with grace, even as their eyes reflect the depths of their loss. Ethan has his arm around Sylvie, who’s pressing a tissue to her red eyes, and Marcie rubs her back. Kat and Gabe are nearby, Kat’s face a mix of sorrow and strength, Gabe’s arm a constant presence around her shoulders. Abby and Kellan are there too, their expressions a mirror of the family’s collective pain.
And then there’s Trey. He’s off to the side a bit, dressed in a black suit that makes him look older, wearier. His face is pale, his eyes hollow. He stands mute, his gaze fixed on some distant point, lost in his own torment. My heart aches looking at him. It’s too painful.
I take a seat near the rear, hoping to stay out of sight. I keep my head bowed as more people fill the sanctuary until it’s at capacity and we wait for the service to begin. I can’t help but notice Kat, sitting in the front row with the rest of the family, craning her neck, looking around. Our eyes meet, and I can see she’s relieved I’m here. I told her I was coming but I’m sure, based on past experience, she might’ve expected me to bug out.
She gives me a small smile and wave, and I smile back. Gabe notices, and after a whispered exchange, he gets up and heads down the aisle toward me. The rest of the family, including Trey, look back, and he sees me sitting there. I quickly avert my eyes, feeling his gaze on me. There’s nothing left to be said, not with words or looks.
Gabe slides into the pew next to me.
“Kat didn’t send you back to keep me company, did she?” I ask, trying to manage a small smile.
He shakes his head. “No, I asked her if it was okay if I came back. Felt like a bit of an outsider up there. Thought I’d sit with you.”
I appreciate the gesture more than I can say. “Thank you,” I whisper.
Gabe nods, his expression sympathetic. “Heard you’re going back to Zurich.”
Of course he knows I’m going back because I haven’t made that secret. I’ve said my goodbyes to everyone this time, except for Trey. I wasn’t scurrying out and cutting ties. I wanted them all to know that despite what happened between me and Trey, I was still and would forever be an honorary member of their family.
I went to Blackburn Farms, spent time with Tommy and Fi, Kat and Abby, even sat down with Ethan, who I was least close to. None of them wanted me to go, but they also supported my decision. They know it was Trey who broke up with me, leaving no room for a change of heart. It was his failure, not mine, and I promised them all I’d never lose touch again.
And now here I sit with Gabe, both of us feeling like outsiders to the family we love.
The service proceeds, and Ethan steps up to give the eulogy. He pauses, his hands gripping the podium as if drawing strength from it. “Wade Blackburn was more than just my brother. He was a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy and passion. He had this incredible ability to make everyone around him feel alive, to draw them into his world and make them see the extraordinary in the ordinary.”
Ethan’s voice shakes, but he presses on. “Wade had a special connection with horses, a gift that was evident from a young age. He had this innate ability to understand them, to communicate with them in a way that was almost magical. His talent in training was unparalleled, and he dedicated countless hours to working with them, turning them into champions.