Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Felicity leaned in. “What?”
“That he will never love anyone the way he loved her.”
Felicity closed her eyes briefly and sighed. “Ah…”
“I shouldn’t have clicked on that email.” I looked away. “But in some ways, I’m glad I did.”
“How long ago did he write that?”
“Honestly, I didn’t look at the date. Like I said, I just clicked on one. But it doesn’t matter.” I sighed. “Anyway, I didn’t trust myself not to open another, so I logged out of her account. Now I can never get back in, since I don’t have the password.”
Felicity nodded. “I can understand why reading that upset you. But people’s feelings can change over time.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m competing with a ghost. That’s awful to say.”
She smiled sympathetically. “You can say anything here.”
“Like, if we were together, it would only be because she’s not here—not because we’re soulmates or meant to be. If she miraculously walked in the door right now, wouldn’t he run to her and leave me in the dust?” My chest tightened. “That’s not a good feeling. And then I feel stupid for thinking about that, because how can I be jealous of a dead person?” I turned to her. “Be honest, am I crazy here?”
“I think it’s very natural to want the person you love to love you back equally.”
“Well, he hasn’t said he loves me at all, so there’s that.”
The doorbell rang, interrupting our conversation. I could hear Nathan answering the door and then another man’s voice.
CHAPTER 45
* * *
Abby
Track 45: “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski
I stood suddenly when I saw Sig at the entrance to the living room. My heart fluttered. “What are you doing here?”
“I got impatient. I wanted to see you.”
I walked over and he cupped my cheeks and kissed me passionately, without any regard for Felicity sitting there. When he finally let me go, he kissed me softly on the forehead before turning to her. She seemed amused.
“What’s that expression for, Ginger? Have you never seen anyone kiss?”
“I’ve never seen this side of you. It’s nice.”
I’d nearly forgotten that Felicity and Leo were apart while Britney had been here with Sig. Felicity had never met Britney, so she’d never witnessed what Sig was like in a relationship.
Felicity smiled at me. “Let me give you two some space. I’ve got to change Eli anyway.” She wrangled her daughter. “Come on, Eloise. Come help me with your brother.”
My eyes followed them as they headed up the stairs. When I looked up at Sig again, his gaze was warm.
“I was gonna head back soon, you know,” I told him. “You didn’t need to come all the way here.”
He tugged gently at my shirt. “Do you have any idea how painful it was to see you for a matter of minutes after all the time we’ve spent apart, only to have you leave again?”
“How did it go with your parents after I left?”
“After your mic drop, you mean?” He grinned. “Pretty sure you saved the day. My mother softened a lot. Your passion is palpable, able to permeate even the toughest of hearts. We ended up toasting to the baby and managed to have a nice lunch together.”
Relief washed over me. “Like so many things in life, worrying about the outcome was worse than the actual event. I’m glad they know now. You didn’t need that looming over you.”
He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “We have enough looming over us, as it is, don’t we? And I know much of it’s my fault—for not being crystal clear about my intentions, for leaving so much up to an uncertain future. You’ve been upset these past few weeks. And I haven’t helped the situation, haven’t given you clear answers on where I stand, and yet I’ve asked you to open up to me. That’s not fair.”
“Where do you stand, Sigmund?”
He stared through me. “I’m terrified. Terrified of losing you. Terrified of becoming a father. Terrified of changing my mind and deciding to raise this child when I still don’t know if I can handle it. I’m terrified of making the wrong decisions. I’ve been using our incredible chemistry as an escape from difficult choices. As we get closer, it’s harder to escape into you and not worry about the rest. These months with you—both in person and through the connection we’ve built when we weren’t physically together—have been some of the best of my life. This is the first time in a long time that I’ve been happy. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling that way again. But I can’t stick my head in the sand forever. I don’t know what’s best for this child. I don’t know what’s best for you anymore, a life with or without me.” He wrapped his hands around my face. “But there is one thing I’m certain of, and that’s that I love you.”