Series: Peach State Stepbros Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92311 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92311 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Did my heart stop beating?
I pull up the message.
Bro: Hey, hey, little man. What’ve you been up to?
It’s enough to make me dizzy. On the one hand, some part of me enjoys seeing Brandon texting like everything’s totally fine—it’s a hope, a dream. On the other hand, it’s horrifying when I know how not fine things really are. His words suggest he’s texting like he would any other day, but the messages above it, all from me, tell a different story:
Me: Merry Christmas!
Me: Happy Birthday!
Me: Just wanted to check in.
They go on and on like that, desperate attempts at eliciting a response. Texts. Photos. Videos.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he’s asking how I am?
I glance around the garage uneasily, almost guiltily. Like I’m gonna get caught reveling in the hope that maybe this time it’s different. Is it so wrong to hope he could mean it?
“It’s just you and me, right?”
He was my hero, my best friend. My everything.
I push aside my skepticism. I’ll have plenty of time for that later. Right now, I have my shot at reaching him, so I need to be quick and smart about my response. I know better than to say anything that might scare him off. I’ve learned that lesson from past attempts. When I’d question him, he’d go MIA for weeks…then months…
Me: Hey, man! Been up to a lot! What about you?
That’s good. Perfect.
I want to tell him how I was struggling in Thermo but then fucking killed it. How much I love my job. But most importantly, I want to tell him about Atlas. I can just see his blue eyes lighting up and that big smile on his face, like he’s happy simply knowing I’m happy.
Bro: I’ve been doing great! Been getting some help and got a new job!
Some help? A new job?
I should believe him, and yet I shouldn’t. I’ve heard too many lies. To me. To Mom. He told me he was getting help when I loaned him that money I know I’ll never see again. And I hate that part of me is hoping he’s about to let me know he can finally pay me back. Not that I need the fucking money, but just that it matters to him to honor his word.
That would’ve mattered to him once.
Even with all that, I let myself hope. Maybe this time is different. Maybe after all the bullshit in my life, this stuff with Atlas is the beginning of a new chapter. Some sort of cosmic justice to make up for all the crap. I’ve lived enough to know that’s not how life works, but I’m desperately reaching for anything that could bring him back.
Me: That all sounds great. So proud of you!
Bro: Thanks. You’ve always been there for me, bud.
Bro: I’d love to meet and catch up if you have a chance.
I find myself gasping with relief. I know better than to be too excited. It would be easy for him to forget and to go MIA all over again.
It’s a pipe dream that he’ll come back and we’ll be a big happy family again, because even if what Brandon’s saying is true, there’s no quick fix for this. Even in my most perfect fantasy, he’ll struggle with this for the rest of his life.
But there’s the thought that maybe…just maybe…there’s some truth, enough that I can have my big brother back.
Bro: You free around 7-ish?
Me: Of course!
I wait for his reply, but it doesn’t come as quickly as his other messages, so I’m just staring at my phone, willing him to respond.
There’s a buzz, but this time it’s Atlas.
Atlas: Hot. You working or having a photoshoot?
I’d nearly forgotten about the pic I’d taken, and in all my excitement, I forgot I told Atlas we’d get together for dinner.
But I know him. He of all people will understand.
I start to text him but stop myself.
I want to blurt out that Brandon just texted, but I can’t. Atlas is the first person I’d share something like that with, but if Brandon lets me down, if he doesn’t show, I can’t imagine that would help Atlas’s impression of him. And I don’t want the most important man in my life to think of my brother as what he’s become. I don’t want anyone to think of him that way.
Me: Figured your eyes were missing me.
Atlas: You figured correctly.
Me: So…something came up today. You mind if we change our plans for tonight?
I notice the ellipsis as he’s typing. It stops, then starts, stops, then starts again. Finally, I get—
Atlas: Sure. Everything okay, T?
I consider my response carefully. I don’t want to worry him, but I also don’t want to lie.
Me: Yeah. It’s…wild. I’ll tell you about it. Maybe we could meet up later tonight?
Atlas: That works. I’ve been having a shit day anyway.