Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“Why are you nervous?”
“Because I haven’t done this in a really long time.”
“I think it’s like riding a bike. You don’t really forget how.”
“And my body…” I shrug a shoulder. “I had a baby. I’m not as young as I used to be. Holy shit, Drew, did you realize that I’m older than you? By, like, five years. What does that make me?”
“Older than me,” he says. “So what? I’m not a minor. You’re not my teacher.”
“I’m your boss.” That came out way harsher than I meant for it to.
“Whoa.” He takes a step back and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Have I misread the situation here, London? Do you feel like I’m pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do?”
His face and gorgeous blue eyes are cold and suddenly withdrawn. The muscle on the side of his jaw twitches, and he rocks back onto his heels.
“No.” There’s no hesitation in my voice. “No, we’re on the same page. You’re not pressuring me into anything. I’m just…out of my comfort zone, I guess is the best way to explain it. I usually know what I’m doing in every situation. But tonight, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You’re no virgin,” he says, and his voice has softened again, although he hasn’t moved toward me at all.
“No, definitely not.” I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. I should just go home. I should tell him this was a bad idea, apologize, and go back to my regular life. I’ve been without sex for this long. I can just keep going. My gaze finds his, and he’s still cold, not encouraging at all, and I lose any courage I might have had. “You know what, never mind. Maybe this was a mistake.”
I walk past him and into the room and grab my jacket.
“I’ll just call for a car.”
“You’re not going to call a fucking car,” he says, and I whirl around to find him standing just inside, his hands balled into fists at his side. “You’re going to talk to me, damn it. Why can’t you just tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Ten years,” I blurt out, and then feel my eyes widen in sheer horrification. “Actually, now that I think about it, it’s been longer than that, because it was before I was even showing with Caleb, so probably closer to eleven.”
“It’s been eleven years since what?”
The bastard wants me to spell it out for him? Fine. “Since I had sex, Drew. So, sure, it might be like riding a bike, but since the last time anyone has touched me like that, I’ve been pregnant, had a baby, and raised that child for ten years. And I thought I was fine with it. God knows that I’m so attracted to you that I can’t think straight, and I’m ready to be with you, and—damn it, stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you can’t stand the sight of me.” I reach up to push my hair off my face, and I hate that my hand is shaking.
His shoulders deflate, and he hangs his head for a moment, then shakes it and walks right over to me, picks me up, and carries me to the couch where he sits and settles me in his lap.
“You hurt my feelings,” he admits and brushes my hair off my cheek once more. “And that made me shut down, and I apologize for that. It won’t happen again. Why didn’t you just talk to me about this? We had two hours in the car on the way here.”
“Because who wants to admit to the guy they have the biggest crush on in the history of crushes that she’s terrified of getting naked with him because she has stretch marks on her stomach and probably isn’t very good at the whole thing on top of it? That’s not sexy or fun or flirty.”
“Maybe not, but it’s necessary because, whether you like it or not, I’m not going anywhere. We have to figure this out so we can fix it. In case you missed it, babe, this isn’t a one-night stand for me. If that’s all I wanted, I would have simply driven you over to my house, done the deed, and taken you back home.”
“Not at all romantic,” I murmur and watch when he grins. That simple grin pulls all the dread right out of me.
“We’re at the beginning of something really great here. Are we at least on the same page on that?”
“Yeah.” I sort of melt into him and kiss his cheek. “Yeah, we can agree on that.”
“Why haven’t you been intimate with anyone in so long?”
I sigh and look toward the dark windows. “Because I had a kid to think about, and then the mess with his dad, and then all the businesses and travel and life. Sure, I went on dates here and there, but there was nothing long-term. I didn’t even sleep with Felix, and that pissed him off. He retaliated by having sex with someone else in my bed.”