Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 72897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“I’m fine.”
“Oh no, is it me?” Henry said. “Do I stink? I showered earlier, but—”
“You don’t stink, you smell amazing,” I said, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.
Henry let out a long breath, and finally I mustered the courage to turn and look at him. His perfect fucking face, lit gently by the glow of the bulbs set around the Ferris wheel.
“You know, things don’t have to be terrible between us,” Henry finally said. “I was pissed, I’m not going to lie. I wanted you to show up in my room when you told me you would. But… it’s water under the bridge, Sebastian.”
“Do you mean that?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Even if we can never be how we were as kids, it would at least be nice to be able to talk to you without it feeling like a war-time negotiation every moment.”
“You’re the one who said fuck you,” I told him.
“I did,” he said. “And I meant it. And part of me still feels that. But… life goes on, y’know?”
“It definitely does.”
“I know we’ll probably never be friends again, but I’ll try not to be actively hostile. Deal?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. A slow sinking feeling set in inside my stomach as he said the words probably never be friends again.
Was that true? Maybe it wasn’t possible for us to be… anything, ever again.
I massaged my temple with my fingers. “So that’s how it feels to talk to me? Like negotiating with an enemy?”
“That isn’t how I meant it.”
“Well, it’s definitely not my intention,” I muttered, tossing back the rest of my cider. “Henry, my life is so different now. You can’t possibly imagine.”
“I’ve tried to imagine,” he said softly. “Even imagining it feels stressful.”
I blew air out through my lips. “Stressful doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
“I wish you didn’t care about the royal pressures so much,” Henry said, shaking his head as he looked out at the twinkling horizon. We were at the top of the Ferris wheel now, and Frostmonte Castle was easily visible in the distance.
I stared out at the castle—my home that never felt like home.
“I have no other option but to care,” I said. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about abdicating? About leaving, running away completely, without a trace? I could do it, Henry. Live the renegade life.”
He gave me a hard stare. “As someone who has lived the off-the-grid, loner life, believe me when I say it isn’t as nice as you might think.”
“It isn’t even about that. Even if I didn’t run away completely… I would have nowhere to go. No access to any money without the castle. I have no one outside of that place, Henry. My entire life, my entire family, everyone who cares about me is in there.”
“I understand that,” he said.
“And I don’t hate every aspect of it,” I said.
Henry let out a quick laugh. “Oh, if fifteen-year-old Sebastian could hear you say that, he’d punch you in the face.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I know. I hated every single thing about being a prince back then. Now, I’d say I only hate half of it.”
“Well, that’s incredible progress, at least,” Henry said.
“The handcuffs are definitely made of diamonds and gold,” I said. “But they’re still… handcuffs. Tied to the most beautiful jail cell I could imagine.”
Henry was quiet for a while. The sounds of the fairgrounds floated up, the music and chatter and winter merriment of everyone below. It all seemed so simple here in Berrydale. Everything seemed so easy.
“You want to know something?” Henry said quietly, his voice breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
“I think you’re just scared,” he said simply. “None of the restrictions on you are as tight as you think they are. You’re afraid, like you’ve always been afraid, when it comes to this stuff.”
I glared at him. “Did you come on this Ferris wheel with me to tell me that? To call me a coward?”
His expression was gentle. “I don’t mean it like that, and you know it.”
I shifted in my seat as it gently rocked back and forth, looking out at the fairgrounds and then back at him.
“I’m a lot more scared of you, you know,” I said.
He puffed out a laugh. “Scared of me, huh?”
“Of course,” I said.
“I know I spent many years in the wilderness, Sebastian, but I assure you, you have nothing to be scared of—”
“How am I supposed to feel?” I blurted out. “I’m twenty-six. I’m a prince. I’m set to marry a princess—an incredible, down-to-earth, smart, funny, and gorgeous princess—but still the only thing I want is you?”
I could feel my heart pounding in my throat as the words spilled out of me.
Henry’s eyes searched my face, and for once, he didn’t seem like he knew what to say.
“Don’t act so surprised,” I breathed, looking back down at the town below. “You know I wanted to fuck you. And I know you wanted it too. And it was easier to deal with that nagging feeling when you weren’t… around. But now that I’ve seen you again? It’s impossible, Henry. God, the idea of you is the only thing I’ve made myself come to in the last ten years. Every time, I think about you.”