Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70127 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70127 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
“You’re so wet, so enthused. They say it takes a while for marriage to find its footing…and maybe we’ve found ours.” He stirred his coffee again then took a sip.
The horror washed over me when I realized what had happened. All those times when Lucian had screwed me lately, I had been fantasizing about the man I really wanted. I was thinking of Balto, the sexy man I’d met at the bar. I was thinking of his perfect body, his big dick, and the sexy way he kissed me. I’d focused my thoughts so hard that my body actually became slick and I tightened around Lucian like he was the man I was pretending to be fucking. But he’d misinterpreted all of that…and thought I was enjoying him.
Shit.
The staff carried Lucian’s suitcases to the car waiting in the driveway. In his slacks and collared shirt, he was ready to leave for the weekend to travel to France, where he would be holding a meeting with some potential clients. He traveled a lot to network with the right people. Getting the correct components for his explosives was much harder than people realized. That was why his weapons were so pricey—because they took so much time and effort to make.
I walked him to the driveway to see him off—because he’d asked me to.
“I’ll be back on Monday, Beautiful.” He turned around and faced me, standing at my height. I was only five seven, so his height wasn’t impressive. Balto had to be at least six three. He’d towered over me even when he was sitting on the stool.
“Be safe.” I didn’t know what else to say. Our relationship had changed, and now he expected me to care when he came and went. The worst thing I could do was tell him off because he had the power to make my life a living hell. If I didn’t satisfy him, he could stop my visits to my brothers, take away my car and allowance, and snatch back my freedom. It was easier just to cooperate than risk losing all the things that made my life worth living.
“Always.” He leaned in and kissed me, his hand moving into my hair for a passionate embrace.
My coping mechanism was to picture Balto, the sexiest guy I’d ever been with. It was much easier than actually living in the moment, kissing a man I wasn’t attracted to. Not only did I not want Lucian in that way, I didn’t respect him. I didn’t like the way he treated the staff, bossing them around like they were worthless, and I didn’t like the nights when he executed people right outside on our property.
I kissed him back, picturing a different man with full lips. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
“I’ll call you.” He turned around and got into the car. The windows were tinted, so I couldn’t see his expression once the door was shut. The car pulled away, drove out of the driveway, and then disappeared.
Even when he was gone, I could still feel that kiss on my mouth. I could still feel his revolting hold on me. His indifference was preferable to his affection. Picturing Balto was the only thing that could get me through the disgust, but it actually put me in a worse situation.
I walked back into the house, worked out in the private gym, then lounged in the bathtub for the rest of the day. By the time evening came around, my thoughts drifted to the man I missed and hadn’t forgotten.
It’d been almost three weeks since I’d seen him last.
I wondered how many women he’d fucked in the meantime.
Did he ever think of me?
Did he picture my face the way I pictured his?
As it got later into the night, I thought about him more. I’d been subjected to quality time with my husband, and it’d been nothing but a chore. I missed the real thing, real passion. I missed having a real man on top of me, a man who made my toes curl when he showed me his bedroom eyes.
I missed him.
Did he miss me?
I found myself on the same stool I’d occupied two other times. I had a martini to wash down the nerves before I got the phone from the bartender. The phone sat beside me, but I didn’t make the call. Even though it was a Saturday night, the bar wasn’t full of people. I sat in a black dress and wondered if I was making the right decision. I got away with it the first time, but would I be so lucky the second time? Lucian was paying more attention to me than before. The risk was greater now. But now that he wanted me more, I was more disgusted with myself. I wanted a real man…a man I actually wanted.