Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Are you okay, actually, Luke?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said.
“Holy shit,” he said softly, turning onto his side to face me on the mattress. “You’re freaking out this time. I’m supposed to be the one who is letting my life slip into total chaos, here.”
“Total chaos? That’s what you call going on a date with me?”
“Listen, you know I’m a routines, schedules, and rules kind of guy,” he said. “Giving up the reins is terrifying, even if it’s amazing.”
“Exactly,” I said. “It’s scary for me, too, you know.”
“No way.”
“Yes,” I said. “Why do you think I haven’t let myself get into anything serious since I got back from overseas?”
“Because you’re just a hookup kind of guy,” Cam said.
I swallowed hard. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s because anything serious is scary to me, too,” I said.
“Why?”
I squeezed his hand. “Maybe because I am starting to really fall for you,” I admitted. “Because I know I could have all of this one moment, and the next, it might be gone. Because now that I know what life is like with you, what if I can’t picture it without you?”
As soon as I spoke, I realized how serious it all sounded. My heart was slamming like a drum inside me again. But I was being honest with him. The reason I lived a life so unattached to anything was because it was easier that way. But my heart had been attaching itself to Cam, in little, almost invisible tendrils and strings, for the entire time I’d known him.
I could hear him breathing beside me, but I couldn’t turn to look him in the eyes. Not yet. His eyes held more power over me than anything, right now.
“Well, I’m here,” he said softly. “And I don’t plan on being anywhere different, anytime soon.”
I breathed deep. “I like you being here,” I managed to say.
“I fucking love it.”
We lay still there for many minutes, letting the sounds of the night come through the tent. My heart finally started beating a thousand beats per minute. And just when I started to think I may be able to fall asleep, holding his hand, he spoke.
His voice was sleepy and so goddamn adorable it hurt. “Don’t think this is gonna get you out of replying, by the way.”
“Hmm?” I responded.
“I need my Phlox,” he said, shifting a little on the mattress, cozying up next to me and getting comfortable. “I’ll expect some replies from him by the end of tomorrow.”
I puffed out a laugh, turning and draping my arm across his body, holding him. “Oh yeah?”
“Absolutely. I’ve come to love my messages from him.”
I breathed in Cam’s scent, clean and fresh like sea salt air. “I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten about you. He never could.”
The next morning my alarm went off early, just after the sun rose.
Memories of the night rushed back to me all at once as I turned under the sheets, pulling Cam close to me again. He murmured sleepily.
“I have to be at work soon,” I whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to the back of his neck.
“I should go work, too,” he said.
“Make sure you get a lot done,” I told him. “Because tomorrow night, you’re going to be going on a date.”
He smiled, his eyes still closed in the morning light. “Is that right? I haven’t been asked.”
“Cameron,” I said. “Would you like to go out with me tomorrow evening?”
He hummed happily. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”
“It’s a date,” I said.
I was at work an hour later, and got lost in my tasks the minute I got there. One of the bur oak saplings had been bent over by some sort of animal the night before, so I propped them up with strings and stakes. The roses needed serious pruning, and I happily lost myself in the process, enjoying the beautiful day.
On my break I sat down on a bench in the sunshine, pulling out my phone and navigating to the BackOutThere app. I opened my private messages with LittleBit.
>>Phlox: Hey, you. Sorry I didn’t respond sooner. I’ve missed you.
>>Phlox: I’m glad you did something very scary and it worked out. Turns out I did the same yesterday. I asked somebody out on a date. I’m still totally freaked out, to be honest, but it’s the best thing I’ve felt in years.
>>Phlox: He’s someone really special.
>>Phlox: *Really* special.
>>Phlox: And now I’ve gotta figure out where the fuck to take him.
15
Cam
At this point, I knew Luke well.
I knew what he wore, things he liked, how he smelled. I knew what it felt like when he was deep inside me, and the beautiful, deep sounds he made when he came.
So why the hell I was so damn nervous to go on a “first date” with him, I will never, ever know.
I paced around my house like a skittish animal, trying on outfit after outfit. I checked my watch incessantly, sometimes twice in the same minute. Luke had helped me plant a tiny herb garden in the yard last week, and I went out to pluck a fresh mint leaf, chewing it, knowing that the man coming over to pick me up may try to kiss me, and I wanted to taste good to him.