Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 90682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Well, shit, girl’s got a lot of fire in her belly.
Hot as hell if I’m being honest.
What was it Eli said about Posey? She was sweet and kind and wouldn’t hurt a soul?
…unless that soul was me?
Since I got here, Posey looks as if she does want to strangle me half the time—the other half, she’s sleeping. She’s constantly giving me narrowed glances and side-eyes, muttering to herself about how I drive her crazy.
It makes a man wonder what she’s like when she’s not pissed off.
My stomach rumbles, and I check my watch.
“Welp. Time for lunch!” I sing-song my way back into the house, whistling a country tune by my favorite artist; cautiously peering from the kitchen into the dining room for any signs of my roomie before tiptoeing to the fridge.
I want to forage around in private; I don’t need her breathing over my shoulder and harping on me ’cause she’s mad.
No.
I wanna eat, and the deck can wait.
I need to feed the beast.
Duke: Knock knock…
Posey: Whose there?
Duke: It’s me, Duke.
Posey: I just rolled my eyes—I thought you were telling me a knock-knock joke.
Duke: I don’t know any good jokes. I’m shit at telling them. I’ll spare you.
Duke: Also.
Duke: It’s spelled WHO’S—not WHOSE.
Posey: Oh my God, you are so annoying.
Duke: Funny, Eli called me annoying today during our conference call.
Posey: He’s a smart guy. A VERY smart man.
Duke: I’m going to ignore you now.
Duke: Okay, I’m back. I don’t have the patience to ignore you.
Posey: LOL
Posey: You’re WAY too easy…
Duke: Actually, I’m not, but okay.
Posey: What do you mean “Actually I’m not?”
Duke: It just means I don’t know why I’m on this dumb dating app; it’s not like I’m gonna fall in love with anyone here or take anyone out. You’re right. It’s pointless.
Posey: Well, in your defense, you did admit you only downloaded it because you’re bored. So you get a hall pass.
Duke: A hall pass? Do you even know what that is?
Posey: Yeah, a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Duke: Um, FALSE: a Hall Pass is when you’re in a relationship, but you get to choose like a celebrity or something to bang if you ever get the chance. Your boyfriend can’t go apeshit and consider it cheatin’.
Posey: OH DUH—I knew that!
Duke: Sure you did…
Duke: Scale of 1 to 10, rate your day.
Posey: Seriously? You want to know how my DAY was? Why didn’t you just ask me when you saw me in the bathroom before?
Duke: Cause I thought it would be more fun to chat on our super-secret dating app that no one knows we’re on except us. And whatever tool you’re talking to.
Posey: I’m not talking to any tools except you. HA HA
Duke: And that one guy who didn’t message you first.
Posey: Can we please talk about the fact that you busted the porch railings and now have to fix them… Which puts my day at a 9 because that was HIGHLY highly entertaining.
Duke: Glad to be of service.
Posey: At least you own your stuff.
Duke: You mean “Own my shit?”
Posey: ha, yes.
Duke: Do you not curse?
Posey: I curse—you’ve heard me. Just try not to make a habit of it. I should have known you’d tease me for saying stuff and not shit.
Duke: I wasn’t teasing—just clarifying LOL
Posey: How would you rate your day?
Duke: Eh, 7. I’m pretty bored.
Posey: You’ve only mentioned being bored 100 times already. No doubt you’re bitching to EVERYONE.
Duke: Ha ha. Facts.
Duke: LOL, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact I can’t even take a jog on the street right now without someone calling the paps. I want to get this press conference over with so I can move on with my life.
Posey: Yeah, I suppose everyone is looking for you.
Duke: Yup. No one has seen me in public in a week, and New York leaked to SportsCenter that I won’t be returning. It’s a mess. Good thing I already got groceries.
Posey: Ah…
Duke: Question
Posey: ??
Duke: WOULD YOU RATHER
Posey: Oh Lord, here we go….
Duke: WOULD YOU RATHER: Have no eyebrows OR Have a unibrow?
Posey: Do I get to pluck?
Duke: NO.
Posey: Do I get to pencil in the brows?
Duke: No.
Posey: Um. I would rather…Have a unibrow, I guess? How about you?
Duke: Unibrow. Basically have one already. Real men don’t pluck.
Posey: Oh come on now, none of that toxic masculinity…plenty of men pluck and wax.
Duke: Do they actually? I wouldn’t know—my dad was a giant asshole, and I grew up in Texas. If he’d caught me manscaping, I’d have gotten my ass whooped.
Posey: **sad face**
Duke: What about you? Where’d you grow up?
I’m curious, and it feels natural to ask her, although I hadn’t intended to get too personal with her. Guess some things are inevitable, especially given that I’m living in her house.
Is it weird that we’re on a dating app chatting while we’re in the same house, rooms apart.