Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
“Since when do you know how to fix cars, jackass?”
Owen had no answer for that, so he continued his inquisition. “Where did you spend the night last night?”
I blew out a long breath and gave him the details—without mentioning that we’d slept in the same bed. That would have to remain a secret.
“You slept in the same hotel room, and you don’t think you’re playing with fire here?” He shook his head. “You know damn well that she’s with a good guy who’ll take care of her and treat her right. Why would you want to jeopardize that? If she ends up cheating on him with you—because you can’t fucking stop coercing her—it would be one of the biggest mistakes of her life.”
His words felt like a sucker punch. Mainly because I believed them. Lala falling for me would be a huge mistake. Still, I found myself on the defensive. “Thanks for the confidence, asshole. I thought you were supposed to be one of my best friends.”
“Do you seriously think that if she gave in to your goddamn charms she would end up in a better place than if she married him? You need to think about what’s best for her, Holden. I know what you’re up to.”
I raised my voice. “What part of my going out there to fix her fucking car don’t you understand?”
“You could’ve slept in your van like you have before. You didn’t have to spend the night in a hotel room with her.”
If he only knew. I looked down at my shoes.
“I know you, Holden. I feel like I’m the only one keeping tabs on this situation lately. Colby’s so damn busy, and Brayden seems to have his head up his ass per usual. But I see the way you look at her. And this whole situation concerns me. She’s like the last piece of Ryan we have left. You cannot fuck with that girl.” He relaxed his tone. “Ryan would kill you, man. He’d kill you.”
I pulled on my hair. “Look, you don’t need to say it. Okay? I know I’m not right for her. I also know that there’s something between us—it’s always been there. Things you don’t even know about…from when she and I were younger.” I paused. “And I also know I need to do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens. But I do care about her. It’s fucking complicated. As my friend, I wish you would listen to me rather than lecture me.” My lip trembled as anger coursed through my veins.
Maybe he finally saw the torment in my eyes because Owen softened. He nodded. “I’m sorry I was so harsh. It’s been a rough morning, and I was really pissed that you weren’t here. But now that I know you were helping her, I can’t stay pissed.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Look, I gotta get to work. I’m already late enough. You should head back over to 410 to fix the shitty job I did patching up the situation. And maybe tie up the Satan siblings to get them under control.”
After he took off, I made a quick stop in my apartment and then went upstairs to get to work on that leak. Owen’s words about me being the biggest mistake Lala would ever make continued to plague me all afternoon, though.
I made a mental vow—yet again—to distance myself for a while, as hard as that might be.
***
A few days had passed, and I’d kept my promise on staying away from Lala. I hadn’t heard from her and hadn’t made contact.
I had a few hours to kill before leaving for a gig tonight and found myself falling into rumination again. Staying away from her was one thing, but thinking about her was another—that I hadn’t been able to stop.
She hadn’t texted me or anything since we got back on Monday, which made me think she was still feeling guilty over the other night and had decided to distance herself. It was just as well and made things easier for me, but it bothered me that she might have been upset about it.
I’d done everything I could to try to move on from thoughts of her. I’d even gone back to a girl named Cara’s apartment after my show last night. She and I had kissed, but when she tried to go down on me, I stopped her. I’d never stopped a blowjob in my life. Eager head from an attractive woman wasn’t something you refused. And it’s not that my body wasn’t ready for it. I’d been so damn horny lately. I just wasn’t in the mood for her.
Ever since the other night, all I’d craved was to be back in that warm bed with Lala, which was beyond fucked up. I ended up leaving Cara’s pissed at myself, while also patting myself on the back for at least moving on far enough to kiss her. Because I really fucking needed to move on. Kissing random women used to be a nightly occurrence, and now I apparently thought I deserved a gold star.