Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
This is something I don’t talk about, with anyone. So the fact that Prince Magnus is asking me so boldly says a lot about where I really stand in our power dynamic, because he knows I have to answer him. Of course I don’t have to—I can tell him it’s none of his business—but I also know that could make things worse. Despite all the pleasantries and his easygoing nature, we’re in the “probation” period of the job.
“I’m going to say hi to Maud,” Ottar says, clearing his throat before getting out of his chair and going over to the bar.
“Now Ottar is gone,” Magnus says to me. “I don’t blame you for being cagey. He has a big mouth. So tell me. What happened?”
I sigh, twisting the glass of water between my hands, averting my eyes from his intense stare. “Nothing too dramatic,” I admit. “It was my first job for a royal family, and I was protecting Princess Adeline of Belgium. Before that I was in the army, worked as security after that, and then I lucked out and landed the gig with the Fairfaxes. It’s a different game in Belgium. The monarchy isn’t as worshipped, or hated, as it is in the UK, but even so, I took my job very seriously. Eventually I met Anika. Fell in love.” For the first time, but I don’t add that. “We got married. And I guess I couldn’t deal with having two lives. One committed to protecting the princess, the other committed to my wife.”
“Ah.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” I say quickly. “I was committed to my wife. Fully. It’s just that my duty took me away from her more often than not. I barely saw her. I tried so hard to find the balance, but it was impossible. I was madly in love with her, make no mistake about that, but being in love…wasn’t enough. Not for her anyway. So she left.”
Actually, she left me for another man, one she’d been having an affair with for a very long time. That man was able to give her everything I couldn’t. That man was enough for her. I wasn’t.
“It can’t be easy being a bodyguard,” Magnus eventually says with a wince. “I know that being a royal is hard, and I was extremely lucky that my path crossed with Ella’s. I have no idea where I’d be right now, or what kind of person I’d be, if I hadn’t met her. She’s changed me, helped me…saved me in more ways than one. But I often forget how hard it is to be involved with the monarchies. How little a life you get. I hope you know that I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that you still get to have your own life when you’re not protecting mine.”
“My duty is around the clock,” I remind him.
“It is. But even so. I’m trying. I look at Laila sometimes and wonder the same about her. She’s so young that it feels like a waste that she’s locked up in that house with us and the boys.”
I swallow hard. “It’s her job too. She knew what she was getting into. And from what I know, she wants to be here.”
“You’re right. And sometimes I think people like you, like Laila, purposely take these kinds of jobs to avoid forming any attachments.” He drops that last bit of info like a bomb, a knowing glint in his eye as he studies me, as if searching for the truth.
I let out a sour laugh. “You’re a philosopher all of a sudden.”
He taps his fingernail against his empty glass. “I blame the drink.” He pauses, something weighty coming over his expression. “I didn’t want to just talk about your divorce, James. I wanted to talk about the period after your divorce.”
I press my lips together, hard. Talking about my divorce is one thing, but talking about the aftermath? That’s a whole other ball game of personal.
“I took some time off, that’s all.”
“That’s all? You traveled the world for two years.”
“It’s a big world.”
He clears his throat and gives me a somewhat sympathetic look. “When I talked with Eddie about hiring you and asked him about your previous work experience in Belgium, he told me it was more than just a sabbatical. That it was for your mental health.”
Damn that Eddie. That’s what I get for confiding in him, and that’s exactly why PPOs and the people they work for shouldn’t become friends. Should have figured that it would travel along the royal grapevine.
I nod, taking in a sharp breath through my nose, steeling myself for what I’m about to say, though it won’t be much. “I wasn’t doing…great. The divorce caught me off guard. I quit my job and went traveling. To clear my head. It worked.”