Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Give me a minute, and I’ll go back to my room.”
“No,” he replied. “Part of spoiling you is holding you the rest of the night. Don’t go.”
My eyes snapped to his, my chest full and strange. “Okay,” I said, while telling myself my answer should be no.
Elliott pulled the blanket from under me, then covered me up. He hit the lights next, then climbed into bed beside me and tucked me into his arms. “You fit well here.”
It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. It was part of this game we played.
“Feels good.”
“I’m glad.” He kissed my shoulder.
“Have you done this before? The praising thing?”
“No. Am I good at it?”
I chuckled. “You know you are.”
“I like it.”
“I do too.” My admission was gentle, unsure.
“I guess that’s a good thing, then. Go to sleep, gorgeous.”
I closed my eyes and did as Elliott said, telling myself my heart wasn’t softening. That it was still intact.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Elliott
The next few weeks sped by. Parker and I continued to spend a lot of time together. I’d brought him coffee in bed the morning after our massage night, and he’d lit up as if I’d handed him the world. Evidently, none of the assholes he’d dated had done this for him, but then, had I ever woken a man up with their morning caffeine? I hadn’t, but I couldn’t imagine not wanting to do it for Parker. Not that I had another chance to do it since. He hadn’t slept in my bed again.
When I was on my own, I kept working my way through episodes of The Vers. Well, until I got stuck on one and hadn’t been able to make myself listen anymore.
It was from last summer. A listener had written in to ask which one of the guys they would sleep with if they had to choose one, and I couldn’t get past Parker’s answer. He’d chosen Marcus, which didn’t bother me. But…the rest of his answer did. When Declan had been surprised it wasn’t him, Parker had explained that because of their particular friendship, the lines could easily get blurred, basically saying that if it was just a sex thing, he wouldn’t choose Declan because he was worried his feelings could get involved and he wouldn’t want to get hurt or ruin their friendship.
That made me think about us. Clearly, he didn’t have the same reservations with me. Parker wanted that happily ever after, but he wasn’t worried he would ever want that from me. We were just fucking and dating to pass the time, and he didn’t truly fear his heart getting involved. He could easily fuck me because I wasn’t the kind of guy he would want, and while that shouldn’t bother me, it did. Or at least, it felt weird. Too many strange feelings had been plaguing me since this whole marriage with Parker, and I didn’t like it at all.
“What’s wrong?” Mama asked as we sat in her kitchen. Dad was in DC, Parker at work, and Vaughn off with some guy he was fucking, so I’d come over to spend some time with her.
“Nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”
“Because I know my son.”
Yes, she did, and something was off with me, but it wasn’t like I could tell her what it was. That my marriage had been a drunken mistake, that I wondered if I was demiromantic and why I’d never felt a romantic connection to anyone. How Parker felt new and exciting in a way nothing ever had, so I was confused as fuck about it.
Those weren’t things I could ever say to my mom.
“Just been busy, is all. How are the plans going for the fundraiser? Do you need any help?”
It was the perfect distraction. Mom went off, telling me about an issue with the flowers and about her sponsorship troubles. I listened and offered opinions, but I also kept thinking about Parker. What was it that made me obsess about him so damn much?
When Mom looked at her phone and smiled, I asked, “Dad?”
“No. It’s Parker. I texted him earlier, and he’s just getting back to me. Says he has a surprise for you.”
That made me smile. I knew they were talking, but it was also nice to see. Plus, I loved surprises.
“You should see the look on your face right now. I’ve never seen it before. You don’t know how good it feels to know you’re happy.”
I was happy. Not in the way she thought, but I was happy. “We have fun together. I like making him feel good.”
Mom reached over the counter and squeezed my hand. “That’s because you’re a good man. When you love someone, it’s always the best feeling to do nice things for them. It feels like nice things for yourself too.”
Part of that was right. Treating Parker special did feel like something special for myself, but I wasn’t in love with him—I couldn’t be. Though I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t be. Fuck, emotions were confusing.