Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Oh shit. Not like that. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want. I asked you to make me come. I just meant that we shouldn’t have done that. Fuck. I can’t believe I went back on the commitment I made to myself not to hook up with anyone. Especially not you.”
Elliott moved off me, sat up, and laid my legs across his thighs. “You’re lucky I don’t get my feelings hurt easily.”
God, I was fucking this up. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I liked Elliott, even if that wasn’t something I wanted to admit. He was a nice guy. He’d proved that more than once, and after watching him with his family, I couldn’t deny it any longer. But that made him even more dangerous to fuck around with. I’d fallen for nice guys before, and I either realized it was all a facade, or those guys were good men but just didn’t want me. I couldn’t let myself fall into familiar habits in this marriage. It was one thing to lose a boyfriend or someone I was dating, but a whole other ball game if I got feelings for the person I was married to when I knew we were going to walk away.
“Are we going to talk about this?” Elliott asked when I’d gotten lost in my head.
“Yeah, sorry. We can’t do that again. In fact, let’s scrub the last hour from our memories? Deal? Perfect. Thanks. Good night!”
I tried to stand up, but a chuckling Elliott placed his hand on my cum-sticky stomach and held me down. Damn it. I wished I could have tasted him… No, stop. Bad. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking those things.
“Hear me out,” he said, and I sighed.
“Can I sit up?”
“No, you’ll run away.”
I huffed but couldn’t say he was wrong. My gaze flicked to him. Fuck, he was really sexy naked. I took a moment to appreciate the view—the dusting of fur across his pecs and stomach, the way his soft cock rested in a nest of dark hair at his groin. I really, really wanted to explore his body, preferably with my hands and tongue. I blamed the fact that it had been a while since I’d had sex because of my man break.
“What am I hearing out?”
“You totally want to fuck me right now.”
“I do not!” I tried to get up again, but he still didn’t allow it, laughing while we wrestled naked on his couch. There was a small chance I let Elliott win, and he ended up lying between my legs, his chest against my dick, which I was willing not to get hard again. “Shut up. You know you’re sexy. It’s a physical response, and it’s been a while for me, but again, this is a bad idea. We can be friends, but we can’t let the lines get blurry on what this is. We’re married in name only, and in a few months we’re separating. You’re not looking to settle down—I am. You don’t know if you’ll ever want to get married—news flash: that one is a moot point because hello.” I held up my hand with the wedding ring on it. “You don’t want to fall in love.”
“No, I said I’m not sure if I’m cut out for love. That I’ve never felt romantic love before. I don’t seem to have it in me. I’ve dated some really great people, but I just didn’t feel anything more than affection for them.”
Did he think this was helping? Because it wasn’t. “You’re not making an argument for why we should fuck around, if that’s what you’re trying to do,” I said as we lay there, naked and stuck together with our loads. Good job, Park!
“You haven’t let me talk much. What I was trying to say is…date me.”
I waited for the punchline, for him to laugh or continue, but he didn’t say anything else. “Are you out of your mind? I can’t date you! We’re married! Plus, did you miss what I just said about us wanting completely different things?”
“That’s not true. We just have a different reality. You know what you want. I’m not looking for love or know if that’s in the cards for me. There’s a risk, of course. The last thing I want is to hurt you. Jesus, that would fucking kill me, beautiful, but dating is always a risk. We risk our hearts in everything we do, and you’re never going to find what you’re looking for if you don’t take that risk.”
“And you think that could be you? What happens if it is and you don’t want the same?”
“I’m not saying it could be me, and that’s where honesty and communication come in. Plus, let’s not pretend people can’t get hurt by falling for someone they aren’t dating. You hear that every week on your show. People in love with their best friend, coworker, neighbor. It happens. But we’re in this now, so shouldn’t we at least try not to be miserable?”