Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
He’s right. You know he’s right.
And maybe I could deny it if it had been Declan or Corbin who said it, but not Marcus, because Marcus did pay attention. Marcus was good at knowing things and looking at the world and dissecting it—well, for everyone but himself.
“No.” I shoved to my feet, squeezed around him and began pacing again. “That can’t be right.” Oh God. He was right. “I love Elliott. I would never try to ruin that. But he doesn’t love me.”
My friends stood and crowded around me, offering me their support, and I knew that seeing me realize this truth about myself and being in denial about it hurt them as much as it did me.
“Babe…” Declan started.
“No!” I said again. I couldn’t… Why would I… “This isn’t about love.” At least not from Elliott. “It was a dumb drunk marriage that never should have happened. It’s fake. It’s not real. It’s…”
“Elliott?” I froze at the sound of Cat’s voice behind me.
No. No, no, no, no. I was afraid to turn to the door, afraid to look, but seeing my friends, who were facing the opposite direction, I knew I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life.
“Elliott, is what he’s saying true? You lied to us? This isn’t real?” Cat asked.
I forced myself to face them. Cat was watching Elliott, who couldn’t pull his eyes off me. His stare shredded my heart, ripped it and broke it down until there was nothing but dust.
“Cat, I can explain,” I said, but Elliott held up his hand to silence me. I’d already fucked up enough, so I listened.
“Yes, it’s true,” he said to her without taking his gaze off me.
“I…” she started, but her voice broke. Her hand shook as she covered her mouth. “I’ve never been so disappointed in you.” Cat turned to me. “And I’m disappointed in you too. I love you. You’re like a son to me. I thought you loved Elliott. I…I can’t.”
She turned and walked out of the house.
“Elliott, I didn’t mean—”
“Stop,” he cut me off. “I can’t do this with you right now, beau—Parker. I have to deal with my mom.”
And then Elliott walked out too.
When I started to fall, three sets of arms were there to catch me, hugging me, telling me they loved me and that it would be okay.
But it wouldn’t. I didn’t think it would ever be okay again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Elliott
“This isn’t about love. It was a dumb drunk marriage that never should have happened. It’s fake. It’s not real.”
“I’ve never been so disappointed in you.”
My hands tightened on the steering wheel as I drove to my parents’ house. I couldn’t stop replaying Parker’s words, or my mom’s.
I’d gone home to tell him I was in love with him, that I wanted this to be real and for us to stay together. Only when I got there, I saw Mom had stopped by. We went inside together and… “This isn’t about love. It was a dumb drunk marriage that never should have happened. It’s fake. It’s not real.”
Those words were a bullet straight to the heart, pulverizing it and leaving a mess in their wake. I guess there was my answer. Parker didn’t love me. My insides had been scooped out, everything good inside me gone and replaced with pain.
And Mom… I hated myself for what I’d done to her. This was so wrong. Why had we kept up this dumb fucking lie? All it did was hurt everyone around us.
Mom was sitting on the couch with Dad beside her when I arrived. He had his arm around her. She’d been crying. Neither spoke, both looking at me as I came closer and sat in an armchair. I was defeated. My body felt like my bones didn’t have the strength to hold me up, like I was running off pain because it was the only thing that could fuel me.
“I think we deserve an explanation, son,” Dad said.
Yes, they did. They deserved better than what I’d given them.
“I fucked up,” I said, because I had. There was more to it than that, but broken down, it’s what happened. I pulled an Elliott. I acted without thinking, and those around me got hurt.
“We need a better answer than that.” Mom’s voice cracked with pain.
“I did meet Parker over a year ago, at a bar, like we said. Something about him grabbed my attention immediately. He’s beautiful, of course, but it was more than that. It was just…” How did I describe it? I didn’t understand it myself. “It was a spark. I realize now that I’d never felt something like that before, but at the time, I thought it was just me seeing a hot guy and wanting him.” When they didn’t reply, I continued. “We talked, just an hour or so, but I found him captivating. It felt…different. So after that, I’d go see him at his work, flirt with him, ask him out, and he always said no.