Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“Let’s go to my dressing room,” he said. “It’s empty right now.”
I followed him there, and we stood facing each other. He smelled like his cologne, but with a hint of something else.
I sniffed the air and narrowed my eyes. “Have you been smoking?”
He looked down for a moment. “I just had one.”
“Why?”
“I was tense after our text exchange earlier. I needed to calm down.”
“You were tense because of me?”
“You’ve got me feeling like a fucking lovesick teenager, Emily. I’m too old for this shit. When you blew me off earlier, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.” Concern filled his eyes. “I mean… Last night was amazing. Am I delusional? I need you to tell me if I’m coming on too strong. Or if I did something wrong. I feel this resistance from you. It’s weird because I also feel like you really want to be around me, but something’s holding you back. I’m not sure if it’s more than your job here. I get that I’m not right for you but…” He exhaled.
He was hurt. I’d hurt him. As I looked into his beautiful, sincere eyes, I knew I couldn’t do this anymore.
“You’re absolutely right that I want to be around you. There’s nowhere else I want to be when we’re together. And you’re also right that I’m resistant to us getting closer, but it has nothing to do with you or my feelings toward you.”
He took a step back. “Oh God, this isn’t the it’s-not-you-it’s-me spiel, is it? I thought you had more respect for me than that.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. “Just be honest. That’s all I ask. I can handle the truth. If you’re not interested in spending time with me anymore, I’ll leave you alone. Simple as that.”
This was my opportunity to cut the cord. “I can’t do what we’ve been doing anymore, Tristan. I can’t get closer to you…as much as I want to.”
His phone chimed, and he looked down at it.
His eyes looked sunken when his gaze met mine again. “I’m late for sound check.” He stared at me another second, then walked away.
I stood frozen in his dressing room. You’ve done it now, Emily.
Feeling empty inside, I made my way through the arena to the exit. In the distance, I could hear the echo of his voice. I only hoped I hadn’t ruined his chance of having a good performance tonight. Although, staying here under these circumstances would now ruin his chance of having a successful tour.
During the show that night, Tristan’s voice was undeniably off again. And while I knew I had no control over the physiological nature of his problem, I still blamed myself. In my heart, I knew I’d contributed to it. Just like I’d driven him to smoke earlier with my wishy-washy behavior. The smoking hadn’t been good for his voice, either.
It helped that we were on buses again tonight instead of a hotel. That removed the possibility of Tristan calling me to deliver something to his room and kept the highway as a barrier between us. But it didn’t seem like he wanted to speak to me anyway. He hadn’t texted, which proved he was upset. Still, the fact that he was keeping his distance brought me immense relief.
It would make what I had to do tomorrow so much easier.
CHAPTER 22
TRISTAN
We rolled into Texas the next day. I’d finally dozed off close to morning after tossing and turning for most of our ride here. Last night in Louisiana had been one of the worst of the tour. Not only did my performance suck—that was the least of my problems—I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d fucked everything up with Emily.
Atticus sauntered into my bedroom. “It’s almost noon. Rise and shine. It’s time we had a talk, man.” He sat at the edge of my bed.
The last thing I needed was his shit on top of everything else. “What is it?” I snapped.
“You’ve been different these past couple of weeks. I’m not talking about your voice, either. I’m talking about whatever the fuck you have going on with that girl. It’s like your body is here, but your head isn’t.”
“That girl has a name.”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you that getting involved with her is a bad idea. Those reasons are obvious, but when it starts to affect your music...”
“The only thing affecting my music right now is my voice issue, which I only have so much control over. And whatever was going on with Emily I’m pretty sure is over now. Alright? So you don’t need to worry about it. You also don’t need to tell me why it was a bad idea to get involved with someone on this tour, or why it was a bad idea to develop feelings for someone who’s practically half my age. I get it. But sometimes we can’t help how we feel. Although, not sure why I expect you to understand that.”