Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
He stayed with me until my muscles pulsed the last few times.
“That was so fucking beautiful,” he whispered.
I could hear the wetness as he pulled his fingers out of me. My eyes followed as Tristan brought his fingers, covered in my arousal, to his mouth. He licked them clean as if it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. That made me tingle all over, nearly reviving my need to orgasm.
“I think I just found my new addiction.” He slid his tongue across his bottom lip. “Fuck drugs. I could get high off that.”
I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair. “You sure know how to make a woman lose her damn mind.”
“Feel good now?”
“I don’t remember the last time I felt this good, Tristan.”
“Good.” He lowered himself and enveloped my mouth with his, groaning over my lips. “Don’t let me do anything more than that to you. Because once I fucking start, I won’t be able to stop.”
“Not sure I’m a very good influence, considering I’m the one who reached out to kiss you and started all this.”
We lay across from each other in silence for a while.
“You surprised the hell out of me when you leaned in,” he finally said.
“I surprised the hell out of me. But I agree, this can’t be a thing. I just had…a moment. I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss you for a while. I wasn’t expecting the rest. But we can’t do any of it again.”
He groaned. “No way I can go through life without kissing you again. But I’ll find a way to control myself beyond that.”
I knew better. The more we were around each other, the more dangerous it would be. No way would I be able to resist doing more with him if he tried.
What have I done?
Reality came crashing down. My throat felt parched as I swallowed. “I don’t like this feeling.” Not sure I meant to say that aloud.
His brows drew in. “What feeling?”
“The after. It was amazing in the moment. But the after? The after will kill me. I’ll be thinking of what we did all night tonight.”
He pulled me toward him. “Then ride on my bus with me, so neither of us has to be alone thinking about it.”
My eyes widened. “Are you crazy? How are we supposed to get away with that?”
“I’ll make up an excuse as to why I need you there, if you want. But fuck what they think. I want you with me.”
“You’re gonna make up an excuse as to why you need me in your bedroom?” I laughed. “And what gullible people are going to buy said excuse?”
“I don’t really give a fuck if they do or don’t.”
“Well, I do,” I insisted.
He wrapped his hand around my hip. “The entire time here with you, I’ve barely thought about my voice. When I’m with you, I forget everything else and just enjoy being in the present. All I want to do is talk to you, look into your eyes, and now…kiss you and touch you. Bring you to orgasm. There’s nothing else I care about at the moment.”
I smiled sadly. “Becoming dependent on someone to forget about your problems isn’t healthy.”
“That’s not why I want to be around you. Forgetting the bad shit is a result of being happy and present.”
“I won’t be around forever, Tristan. And I shouldn’t get close to you like this.”
“Says who?”
Of course, he didn’t understand why I’d messed up so terribly in crossing the line with him. There was a lot he didn’t understand about me. But rather than explain further, I looked over at the time. “We’re gonna be late. We have to get back to the bus.”
Tristan reluctantly got out of bed. He looked concerned as he watched me gathering my things.
“Hey.” He placed his hands on my shoulders. “You alright?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” My stomach felt unsettled. Surely he could tell I was lying.
But even I couldn’t pinpoint, nor articulate, what exactly was bothering me. It was so many things. The fact that I hadn’t been honest with him. The fact that I wanted nothing more than to stay in this cocoon with him forever. The fact that seeing all those women throw themselves at him would be a lot harder now that my heart was involved. The fact that I might’ve had sex with him if he hadn’t been so in control of the situation today. The list was endless. This was not at all where I was supposed to end up when this tour began.
As Tristan and I waited for our ride outside my mother’s house, he rested his chin on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be held by him, allowed myself to feel safe and cared for during this last moment of peace away from the tour.