Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“Or maybe I was a really bad person in another life, and that was my punishment,” I countered.
“Maybe what happened was his punishment. But your lesson. And maybe the lesson is that you need to learn to forgive yourself.”
“Very convenient story you’ve crafted there.” I sighed. “If life is a set of challenges, can I unsubscribe from the game?”
He smiled. “Not an option, beautiful. That’s why we have to enjoy ourselves along the way. We have to make life about more than the uncontrollable shit that gets thrown at us. Happiness isn’t something that just happens. It’s a choice, the way we react to life. Each person’s happiness is their own responsibility.”
I tilted my head. “That sounds a little too simple. I choose to be happy, therefore I am?”
“Happiness is more the result of choosing not to engage in the bullshit that brings us down, the negative self-talk, the worry and fear. When you move toward things more likely to bring you joy, that’s where choice comes in. And happiness is the result. At least in my experience.” He took a sip of water. “Look, I’m not perfect at it. But I’ll give you an example of one thing I did right. Tonight, I was feeling like shit. So I told the guys I didn’t want to go with them to downtown Detroit. I almost made the mistake of staying alone and wallowing over my shitty performance. But when you came onto the bus, I took the opportunity to ask you to hang out with me. Now I’m happy instead of miserable. That was the result of my choice.”
I smiled.
He smiled back.
His gaze was electrifying, and I found myself wanting things from him in a way I had no right to. This man made me feel special. He made me feel everything. That was the last thing I’d expected.
“Thank you for sharing your secret with me,” I finally said. “I’ll pray that the situation gets better…”
“You could pray in this room and maybe one of these statues would listen.” He chuckled. “Anyway, since you’ve been so honest and told me your biggest secret, I figured I owed you one.”
I nodded, even as my heart lurched. If only that was my biggest secret.
CHAPTER 6
TRISTAN
Another night, another crappy performance.
No one besides Emily had mentioned anything about my voice being off. Did they not want to upset me, or did they truly not notice? Maybe they just didn’t want me to stop. Tonight’s concert in Minnesota had been one of my worst shows in a while. And all I wanted to do now was close my door and shut out the world. But that was hard to do on this bus with the scene playing out just beyond my bedroom.
Women laughing. The smell of weed and alcohol seeping through the crack under my door. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. If anything, this was the norm. I’d been known to party with the best of them. But lately, I needed an escape from it.
Before I could think about that further, the door to my bedroom opened. I could’ve sworn I’d locked it, yet in walked two women, a blonde and a redhead. They could’ve been twins aside from the difference in hair color. I squinted to get a better look at them. They were fucking twins. They had the same face.
Without so much as an introduction, they crawled onto my bed. I’d been lying against the headboard and straightened to sit up.
In the not-so-distant past, I might’ve reached over to the condom drawer and let them do whatever they pleased. But I’d had a shitty show, and I wasn’t in the mood to play along tonight. It took a lot to get my dick hard when I was upset about something.
The blonde leaned over and started unzipping my pants. I placed my hand over her wrist. The old Tristan would never have turned down a blow job from a gorgeous woman, no matter my mood. But tonight? I couldn’t.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’d like to be alone right now.”
“But he told me you asked for us specifically,” the blonde said.
“Who’s he?”
“Atticus.”
I shook my head. That guy was so full of shit. He was pawning these two chicks off on me because he’d probably miscalculated the number of women he told our tour manager to let on the bus.
“Well, he lied. I’m sorry. Thanks, but no thanks.”
As quickly as they’d entered my room, they left. Relief washed over me. I sat at the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. The sounds from beyond the door told me my bandmates certainly hadn’t turned anyone down tonight.
Feeling stifled, I decided I needed some air. We were set to take off for the next city in a couple of hours, so I couldn’t go very far. Grabbing my black hoodie, I left my room and waded through the illicit acts in the main cabin before exiting the bus.