Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 91467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
She looked like I’d slapped her, the hurt making my gut cramp. And when her eyes filled with tears I felt like a monster. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to do that. I…”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?” My heart was racing in my chest and my dick was hard as rock. What a bastard. How could I be thinking of fucking her at a time like this? I started to climb out of bed to get away from her and pull my shit together, but the next words from her mouth stopped me in my tracks.
“Why didn’t you mean to do it? Is it because you think…” I knew where her mind was going and rushed to reassure her though I was confused as hell. “No baby, it’s nothing like that. I believe you when you say you weren’t violated. I just don’t think you’re ready for this.”
Was she saying that she was? This is the only thing I never gave much thought to while she was missing. Getting back into the groove of things. I’d pretty much fucked her every time I looked at her in the past, but…
I rolled to my back and laid my hand across my eyes as I worked on controlling my breathing and getting my body back under control. I didn’t mean to start anything and I certainly didn’t mean to reject her, but she needed time to heal. I knew that much.
There was dead silence coming from her side of the bed and I was almost afraid to look. What the hell had I done? How could I have been so careless?
I’d made up my mind to give her time. That no matter how much my body wanted her always wants her; I wouldn’t open that door until she’d had time to heal, to get used to being safe again.
I was willing to wait for her to make the first move, to follow her lead even if the waiting killed me. I told myself while in that hospital room that it was enough that she was back home where she belonged and even if it took her a year to want me again I was cool with that. Lying ass that I am!
I knew even then that it was going to be hard, but as broken and traumatized as she was I could do no less. How was I to know that my magnanimity would come across as something else entirely to her? That she would read more into it than was intended?
Reject her my ass! If she only knew that my dick had taken it upon himself to go on strike since she’s been gone she wouldn’t think that shit. I had no desire to fuck anyone else, ever. Just her!
Now I’ve fucked up. Like she didn’t have enough to deal with, as it is, I’ve gone and made her feel unwanted. Fuck! Talk about walking a tight rope.
Cade
While I was thinking of ways to reassure her, her mind had apparently gone off on a tangent. How could I forget that she’s a typical female? Their fucking minds don’t work like normal people’s do.
“I didn’t think to ask, but did you move on? Maybe you’ve met someone else…” I snatched my head up and stared at her. Oh she was pissed.
What the hell was she saying? “What’re you asking me? If I forgot about you and went on with my life like you never existed? Didn’t you hear me say I never stopped looking for you?”
How could she think that of me? Did she think so little of the love I had for her? Calm down Cade. No use in both of you losing your damn minds this early in the game.
My heart knew that. That it was just her hurt and fear talking, but my head was ready to explode. “I don’t deserve what you’re thinking Zandi. I spent the last two years barely living…” I reined that shit in. No matter what I went through she had it worst. But this pain in the ass…
“I know you Cade.” She got that stubborn look on her face that I remember so well.
“What do you know?” She turned her face away and I turned it back with a finger under her chin. Stubborn little shit!
“Answer me!”
“I know how much you like…sex.” Her voice dropped off on the last word and her face heated with embarrassment. My little prude. Did she have to make me sound like a dog?
“With you, I like sex with you. How could you think that I would do something like that? That I could be with another woman while there was a chance that you were out there somewhere?”
I had a quick thought of Mindy and that last night together and was tempted to tell her about it, but pushed it aside for now. In the grand scheme of things that wasn’t important. It meant nothing to us, and besides, I’d pulled back before any damage was done.