Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
He left in a flash. And unlike the last time I felt like our goodbye was incomplete—he didn’t come back.
I sink against the counter.
My heart is bruised because I wanted to spend the first night of the year with him. I wanted him to have fun. I’d hoped we could start the year off in an amazing way with karaoke with Coy and the water gun fights that always happen before dawn.
He didn’t get to experience all those things, and I think he’d really have liked them.
But even more than that—my nerves are frayed.
He closed off more dramatically than the last time I saw him shut down. I hate it. I don’t think it was me. I hope it wasn’t. But I don’t know what set him off, and most of all, I’m terrified he won’t let me back in.
My throat constricts, my saliva hot as I try to stay calm. And look at my phone again.
The longer I stare at the screen, the more worried I get. The panic feeds off my fear and my desperate need to contact him.
I can’t take it anymore. I have to do something.
With my phone in my hand feeling like a brick, I press Bellamy’s number.
“How are you even awake?” she says with a laugh. “You all didn’t wrap up that party until well after dawn.”
“Not me. I was home before one.”
I hear her blankets moving around in the background. “Why? What happened?”
“Bells …” I force the lump that appeared out of nowhere away. “I don’t know what happened.”
“Starting from the beginning is usually a solid idea.”
I ignore her sarcasm. “Things were just …” I remember him sitting with Coy and how he chatted my dad up like they were buddies. The ease in the way he walked and how the little lines between his eyes vanished. “Things were great. Really great. And then they weren’t. I don’t know why. He just said he didn’t feel well and wanted to go. He dropped me off around one this morning, and … here we are.”
“Well, I’m going to need a little more to help you. Want me to come over?”
I shake my head. “No. Please don’t. I just need to figure this out.” I press my fingertips to my temple.
“Where is Hollis?”
“I don’t know, honestly. His hotel room, I guess. I hope.”
“You haven’t heard from him at all?”
“No. He’s … complicated. If you push him too much, he shuts down. Well, he usually ends up entertaining me and playing along, but last night was different, Bells.”
“So you thought he needed some space?”
“Yeah,” I say through the burn in my throat.
She sighs. “Well, it’s almost noon, so I think you’ve accomplished your mission.”
“Yeah,” I say again because that’s all I have.
Silence descends between us.
The cabinet bites into my behind. I press off it and pace around the kitchen.
“Are you waiting on me to tell you what to do?” she asks.
“You do every other time in my life, so …”
She laughs. “Sitting at home and stewing about it isn’t going to do you any good. It’s not going to help him either.”
“But what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“Then you go home. Look, if he’s as complicated as you say he is, that stems from somewhere, and quite frankly, you haven’t known him long enough for it to be you at the root.”
“Okay,” I say, my spirits a little brighter. “That helps.”
“He might even need you. I’m guessing he’s not used to asking people for help.”
I bet she’s right.
He told me he’s been abandoned by everyone in his life. He probably doesn’t know how to lean on someone.
I make a mad dash to my bedroom to get dressed.
“I hate to say this,” I tell my best friend. “So don’t let this go to your head, but you’re a genius.”
“It’s been said.”
“And you’re so humble,” I say.
“That’s … never been said.”
We laugh together.
I dig through my closet and pull out a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt.
Nothing like starting the New Year off in style.
I grin.
But if things go according to plan, I’ll spend it cuddling with Hollis, and in that case, I won’t need clothes anyway.
“I gotta go, Bells.”
“Go get your man, baby girl.”
“Never call me that again.”
“Yeah. They did that in a movie I was watching last night while I was home. Alone. While y’all were out having fun at the neighbor’s house.”
“A party you were invited to,” I point out.
She scoffs. “I’m sorry I don’t party with Satan.”
I burst out laughing as I pull the sweatpants on. “A little dramatic, don’t you think?”
“Not even close. Now go and call me when you get back. Or if it’s gonna be a while, and you’re doing the make-up dirty-dirty, just text me and let me know it’s all fixed.”
The idea of making up with Hollis makes me smile. “Will do.”