Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
I puffed out a laugh. “Really?”
“Of course,” he said.
I turned to face him and a curl of desire crept up inside me again. He looked so fucking gorgeous it hurt.
The simple moments were always the ones that got me, with Red. Sure, it was nice to see him decked out in cowboy gear behind the bar, inhabiting his persona and living his dream. But it was also so beautiful to see him like this, just in simple jeans and a fitted white T-shirt, illuminated by the blue glow of the moon.
Actually, I liked seeing him every which way, clothed or not.
“I would have thought I’d be so much less interesting when I’m sober,” I said. “Fuck, my entire personality was based off of partying. And my penis, I guess.”
“Well, sober or not, you’ve got an incredible dick,” Red said, gently lifting one eyebrow.
“I think my dick likes sobriety, anyway,” I said. “Sure makes it easier for me to come.”
Red’s hand was still resting on my shoulder and he squeezed it again now, his eyes growing serious again.
“I mean it, though. I like that I get to just… talk to you, now. Not that we didn’t talk back in the day, but you always seemed preoccupied.”
“I was always preoccupied,” I said. “You’re right. I was constantly thinking about when the next drink would be.”
“Right,” Red said. “Now it feels like you’re really here with me.”
I drew in a long breath. “I… I fucking love being here with you.”
“You do?”
I nodded once. “It’s the rest of the time I’m not so sure about.”
We fell into a silence. Red kept his hand on me, lightly rubbing my shoulder in circles. One other truck passed by on the street, and the driver gave us a wave from his window, but otherwise we just sat there for a few minutes, taking in the silence together.
The moment bloomed between us, and while I was sure Red was just trying to comfort me, with every passing moment I felt agony building up inside me, weighing on me like a bag of bricks.
I wanted to reach over and touch him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to drag him inside with me and have him tell me he wouldn’t leave.
But I knew none of those things were going to happen. It started to hurt even looking at him, and my throat felt a little tight. The last thing I needed was to let even a single tear fall from my eye.
I had to get the hell out.
“Well, thanks for tonight,” I said.
I opened the passenger side door and stepped out. I pulled in a deep breath of night air, running my fingers through my hair. It was embarrassing how quickly I’d gone from okay to approaching not okay. I hated that I was still this temperamental, that I couldn’t just do a normal thing like go to a dinner with a friend.
My eyes were squeezed shut when I heard the sound of the driver’s side door swing open and then shut behind me.
In another moment, Red was in front of me, his body covering mine as he pushed me back against the cool metal of the truck.
His hands rested on either side of my face before he dipped to press his lips to mine, using his hips to pin me between his body and the truck.
And god damn if it wasn’t everything I fucking wanted.
My heart pounded like a drum. My whole world was filled with only him now. He still tasted faintly of chocolate frosting from the cake and he smelled like fucking heaven, masculine and comforting and still way too familiar.
I gave up control completely. My head was spinning. Every inch of the front of his body was pressed up against mine, and he slid his hands down until they were around me, caging me in as he rested his palms on the truck behind me.
“I love being with you, too,” he muttered against me, pulling back just enough that I felt his lips move against mine as he spoke. “I needed you to know that.”
I let out a slow sigh. “Why do you feel so fucking good all the time, Red? Why has nobody else ever felt this good?”
He shrugged, pressing a small line of kisses from my temple down to my neck, nuzzling me. “That’s what I’m trying to answer for myself, too.”
I wrapped my arms around him, wishing I could pull him even closer, wishing that we could stay that way forever, locked in each other like two pieces snapping together.
And finally, that overwhelming feeling of belonging with someone—even when I knew I couldn’t have him—that was what broke me. A couple stray tears fell down my cheek, leaving a hot streak that then went chilly in the night air.
“Liam,” Red whispered as he saw them, running his thumb under my eye to wipe them away. He pulled me into a tight hug, burying his hands in my hair.