Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
“That doesn’t make this easier!” Instead of shoving him away, I leaned my forehead against his and tightened my thighs around his waist. I felt him hard and insistent against the seam of my shorts and barely managed to keep my hips still. It didn’t matter how frustrated and pissed off I was at my own feelings for the man, I still wanted him. That was the damned problem.
“I know, but it’s all I have.” His fingers flexed, and he gave me a little more of his weight, pinning me against the door with the pressure of his hips. “I love you.”
“Stop saying that.” My heart leaped and my pulse skittered as the ache between my thighs flared at the heat between our bodies.
“No.” He pulled his head back far enough that I could look into his eyes. So beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful. “I’ll stop kissing you. Stop touching you if that’s what you want. I’ll put you down and walk out this very second if you ask me to. I’ll do anything you ask, except that.”
“Quit flying,” I muttered with a ridiculous pout. I may as well have asked him to carve out his very nature and set it on fire just to appease me. We both knew neither of us would like him much without it.
He snorted softly, recognizing my shit attempt at a joke, and then used those eyes of his to see into my freaking soul. “I’m going to tell you how I feel until you choose the hell that rips us apart, and even then, I’ll probably still tell you. What I feel for you isn’t quiet. It’s loud and inconvenient and demands to be said as often as possible.”
“Jackson,” I whispered in a plea. For him to stop or to say more? I didn’t know anymore. Every time I thought I had my bearings with him, I got my feet knocked out from under me again.
“I’ve waited my entire life to love you, Morgan. Everything that came before was just to prepare me for your arrival, to teach me how to love you.”
“I don’t want to fall in love with you,” I whispered.
“I know that, too.” The look he leveled on me was so tender I melted. Thank God for the door. “I keep my promises. I’ll always keep them when it comes to you, and tonight made me realize that I can’t promise that I’ll never crash. I can’t avoid every accident, mechanical failure, or act of God. That kind of promise isn’t fair to you, not after all you’ve been through. There are some things that are beyond my control, no matter how good I am in the cockpit.” He caressed my cheek, and I leaned into it, hating his words even as his honesty touched me in a way no promise ever could have.
“I know.” I cradled his face. “And I know I’m irrational sometimes, but I’m so afraid that I’ll lose you. I barely made it through—” I swallowed the lump in my throat and concentrated on Jackson. Just Jackson. He was the only man allowed in my headspace right now. “It will kill me if I lose you. I won’t survive it.”
His eyes closed as he took a deep breath, and when they opened, they shone with resolve. “I promise you that I will never put a rescue above my own life. I promise that I will never knowingly put my life at risk. I promise that while I’m the best SAR pilot at our air station, I’ll work my ass off to be the best SAR pilot in the fucking country just to make sure that you don’t have uniforms show up at our door, and while I can’t promise they won’t show up anyway, I swear to God that you’ll never get that news secondhand. Never again. I’m already cautious because of Finley, but I’ll double down for you. I promise that I will do everything in my power to always walk back through that door.”
Oh God, the scales were tipping. My choice was fading as though it had never existed to begin with. He saw it, too. His grip shifted to my thigh as his gaze fell to my lips. Then he lowered his mouth to mine, and the sweetness of the kiss was at poignant, perfect odds with the need that had its claws in my belly. Wanting him wasn’t just physical anymore. I wanted to wrap my soul around his.
“And I promise that as long as I live, you won’t regret being with me. I can’t even suggest that it will be easy, because that’s a huge lie, but I swear that I will always make the shitty lows pale in comparison to the incredible highs. You’re loved, Morgan, whether or not you want to be. But please give me the chance to show you how much.”