Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
She can’t possibly think she’s unworthy of someone like me. It’s me who is unworthy of her. I’m nothing special, but she’s gold, a rare and prized jewel.
“Don’t you ever say that again,” I growl, cupping her by both cheeks. Her gaze widens with shock. “Don’t ever think you’re unworthy because you aren’t. There is no one in this world like you. Every night, after I’d spent that one night with you, I’d lie down to go to sleep, and all I could ever think about was what you were doing. Where you were. You were under my skin the moment I met you, Jude.”
Her little throat bobs with emotion, and I can see she’s trying to work through what I’ve told her, and maybe it’s too much right now, but I’ll be damned if I let her think so low of herself for even a fraction of a second.
“You don’t mean that,” she almost whimpers.
I nod my head, staring straight into her blue eyes. “I do, Jude. I mean it. I’ll swear my life on it. You’re inside of me, even if you don’t want to be, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to shake you off.”
The wheels in her head are spinning, and I wonder what she is thinking and if she is feeling the same way. Sometimes Jude is an open book, leaving the world to see everything, and other times, you need a key to break inside.
“You’re something else, Lex.” She shakes her head, but a smile graces her lips, so I know that what I’ve said at least hasn’t upset her. After today, and seeing her now, looking at me with a vulnerability that rivals any, I realize something, maybe she was always meant to be mine.
18
Jude
When I arrive at the coffee shop to meet Blair, she’s near the newspaper stand, bending over and reading the front page for free, which makes me chuckle. As I near her, I see she is holding a paper cup tray with two cups in it.
“Oh, yay, did you get that for me? That’s so sweet!” I’m so stoked I don’t have to stand in the line curling out the door.
Blair looks up at me and smiles excitedly, literally bouncing on the balls of her feet. I so love her exuberance and genuine candidness. She is not one to hide what she is feeling, ever, which made her so much easier to trust and more fun to talk to.
We grab a table over by the windows, and I sit with my back to the door to avoid all the energy coming and going. I need a little bit of recovery time after Lex’s family dinner last night.
“Hey! So, how are things with the boyfriend?”
I shake my head and chuckle. “Not my boyfriend. We’ve had this chat, Blair. We are seeing each other, I suppose, but we are not official or anything. I need to stay focused on schoolwork. That is plenty to deal with.”
For now, at least. Diapers and sleepless nights will come soon enough.
She leans forward and smiles. “How is it focusing on schoolwork when you stay over at his place every night?”
I laugh again and swat at her over the table, which makes her giggle.
She raises her hands in the air in mock surrender. “All right, all right, I give. It is what you say it is.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Lex and I are complicated and probably always will be.”
“Which part is the complicated part, the banging part, or the relationship part?”
“The entire thing,” I whisper, feeling a little overwhelmed. After last night, and Lex admitting what he did, I’d say it’s been a little harder to keep it together.
“I’m not a good friend to go to for dating advice. I don’t date, actually...” Blair suddenly becomes shy.“I’m a virgin,” she whispers.
“What’s wrong with that?” If it wasn’t for Lex, I would still be one, that is until my parents married me off.
She shrugs. “Nothing, I don’t think. It’s just not a common occurrence.”
“It might not be common, but it doesn’t matter. If you want to wait, then you should be able to. If you don’t, then don’t.”
Blair smiles but then frowns. “Thanks, sometimes I feel like a freak. The nerdy bookworm always studying, who is still a virgin. I doubt I’ll ever find a guy.”
“You’re way more than a bookworm, Blair.” I laugh. “And you could have any guy you want. It’s not your fault they’re blind.”
“Yeah, I guess.” She smirks, but I can tell she’s still bothered by what we’re discussing. Deciding to change the topic, we switch to talking about classes and teachers and studies, and I find that she struggles with the same subjects I do.
Even though we have different professors for most of our classes, we have similar experiences. One or two are okay; we each have one that is great, but mostly, our profs want what they say regurgitated back to them, and they do not care one single ounce whether we learn anything or not. Not my ideal learning environment.