The Problem With Pretending Read Online Emma Hart

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 126850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
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My lips twitched to one side.

“You’re new!” Chewy the cockatiel barked, looking at me with beady black eyes that were more than a little unnerving. “Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Call the police!”

Morag did a double-take when she saw me. “No, no! Chewy, no! No police!”

Chewy proceeded to squawk the most hideous alarm and took flight, making a beeline for me halfway up the stairs.

In a move that was far from my proudest moment, I screamed, throwing my arms in the air to protect my face from the bird, and dropped back to sit on the stairs.

“Oh, my God!” Morag cried. “Chewy, stop!”

“You little bastard,” said an unknown male voice, one that was too English to be Scottish but too Scottish to be English. “Gotcha!”

“Call the police! Kidnap! Kidnap!”

I peeked through my forearms as Chewy’s cries gradually quietened, and after a glance around to confirm the coast was clear, I slowly lowered my arms. “Am I safe?”

Morag chuckled. “Sorry, dear. I didn’t know you were with Freya or I’d have made sure he was in his cage. He fancies himself a bit of a home alarm system.”

“If only he counted as such on the insurance,” Freya muttered. “Here.” She held a hand out for me, and I took it to get to my feet. “That bird is a twat who needs to come with a warning system, not be one.”

Morag pressed her lips together. “I wish I could argue, but it’s true. He’s a bit of a menace.”

“A bit?” the male voice said, and it finally attached itself to a person.

He had to be William’s dad. They had too many similarities to be distantly related, and there was a distinct familiarity in the way he smiled at Morag.

“Mam, please keep him in the cage for the rest of the weekend, or at least lock the room if you’re going to let him out,” he said to the older woman, confirming his identity.

“I did mean to,” she replied, somewhat sheepishly. “I forget how fast he flies sometimes.”

“It’s a wonder the bloody dog hasn’t eaten him yet,” Freya muttered.

“Yes, well, it’s not for a lack of trying, I can assure you.” Morag sniffed. “I only had Chewy out because Bruce is out training with Jessica.”

“Who’s Jessica?”

“The new groundskeeper hire,” the man replied. “Sorry, they’re being rude,” he said to me. “You must be Grace?”

I smiled. “That’s me.”

“Stuart. William’s father.” He held out his hand for me to shake, stepping onto the staircase, and I shuffled down to shake it. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I was starting to think he’d made you up to get Mam and Dad off his back.”

Ha.

Ha.

Yeah... That would be awkward.

“Like he could come up with someone as nice as Grace,” Freya said, walking down the rest of the stairs. “I’m amazed he managed to convince her to go out with him.”

So was I.

“Aren’t you a bit old for that kind of bickering, Freya?” Stuart asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No. I’ll bicker with him on my deathbed,” she retorted smartly. “Aren’t you supposed to be with them?”

“No,” Stuart replied. “I decided against freezing my arse off out in that weather.”

“Dad!”

“Freya, I’ve already undergone seven fittings of my bloody suit. I’m paying a small fortune for this wedding. I think I’ve done enough.”

“But, Daddy!”

He held up his hand. “You chose to have your wedding here at this time of the year. Both your grandfather and I warned you of the risky weather, and you chose to ignore us. I will help you with whatever you’re doing, but I think your grandfather and brother can handle the guest list.”

Freya drew in a deep breath, and she looked like she was about to argue, but he cut her off.

“Your mother is helping them, anyway,” Stuart continued, dropping his hand. “And all she has to do is call Aunt Gwen and everyone will know within five minutes. Besides, guests are already arriving in Duncree including James’ parents, grandparents, and brothers, because he’s just left to collect them from the airport.”

She frowned. “I thought they weren’t arriving for two more days.”

“Yes, well, it turns out some of your guests are able to check a weather forecast and rearrange plans of their own accord.” Stuart’s eyes twinkled. “Perhaps you should give them more credit.”

Freya looked away and sniffed. “Well, I’m glad they’re here for him.”

I fought a smile and peered over at her. “A few extra hands would be good, just in case of emergency.”

Morag clapped her hands. “Exactly. And they’re all staying nearby on the estate in the rental cottages, so there’s no risk of them not being here for the ceremony. Right, now that we know the most important people will all be here for sure, let’s go and sit down with a pot of tea and figure it all out, shall we?”

“An excellent idea, Mam,” Stuart said. “It’s bloody freezing out there.”


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