Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 108721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 544(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 544(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
Oh God. This is when he destroys me for the last time. When he cuts out my still beating heart and tosses it at my feet. I turn my face away from him because I don’t want to see his eyes when he lands that final blow. But nothing is ever simple with this man, and as soon as I turn away from him, he reaches for me, his fingers against my chin, dragging my gaze back to his.
“No, look at me. Fucking look at me.” There's so much command in his voice I can't help but do so. I try to wipe my face clean of all emotion, but I can’t. I’m not like him. Almost like he knows this, he frowns. “Ely. It’s not anything that you’re thinking. I can't be in a room with you or fucking look at you because it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to strip away your clothing with my knife and fuck you against the nearest surface until all you know is me. Until all you feel is my cock inside you, my weight above you, my cum dripping out of you.”
I don’t know what to think. How to react. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience. All this time, he’s been avoiding me because he’s afraid of losing control?
“But… I thought. You’ve told me so many times that I’m nothing to you, and now you’re saying you’ve wanted me this whole time?” The words fall from my lips with a bite of rage.
“Oh, Ely. I don’t think you understand. You're this beautiful fucking parasite, eating away at all the darkness around my heart. I’ve had to tell myself you’re nothing in hopes I could make myself believe it, but I can’t. I never have. You’re under my skin and in every fucking breath I take. You’ve destroyed me, and I fear there’s no going back to where we were before. “
Wait, what? I part my lips, ready to explode on him, but my brain short-circuits the words, preventing them from coming out because Sebastian’s firm, full, warm-as-hell lips press down on mine. I can barely comprehend what is happening right now, but what I do know is that I don’t want this moment to end. Weeks of anger and resentment make me crave something I shouldn't, something I know is bound to only end in heartbreak.
Yet even with that warning in my mind, I press closer, not wanting a single inch of space between us. Our tongues tangle, and the taste of bourbon explodes in my mouth, and fuck, it's like coming home after being gone for months.
As usual, Sebastian takes complete control, one hand cradling my cheek, the other dropping the bottle of liquor so he can cup the other side of my face. He angles me in such a way that allows him to deepen the kiss, his thumb coming under my chin to tip my mouth back just right. I clutch onto his arms, my body melting into his, my knees trembling, threatening to give out on me. Who knew a kiss could have such an impact? Then again, this isn’t just any kiss.
This is hate, want, desire, and lust all packed into one.
Laughter carries from somewhere off in the distance, and I jolt back into my body like a lightning strike. Wait…we can’t do this. We shouldn’t. I don’t want to be another mark on his bedpost. I want to be special. More. Releasing my hold on his arms, I move my hands to his muscular chest and give him a shove to break the connection.
He breaks the kiss, pulling away just enough to stare down at me in the dark, his erratic breathing matching my own.
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel it?” Desire drips from his voice.
There's more laughter, and I hear someone's lilting voice. “Sebastian, why don’t you come play with us?”
No. I’m just another tally, another girl he’s claimed, minus the actual fucking, which I guess makes me less than them. The reality of that feels like being punched in the throat. I have to get away from him. I can’t bear to be seen as nothing more than a stone when I know damn well that I’m a diamond, even if he doesn’t see it. Tears prick my eyes, and I blink them away, because I do not want to cry in front of him. Titling my face away from him, I shove at his chest again, harder, but he barely moves, not even an inch.
“What’s wrong?” His voice echoes in my mind.
“Everything.” I shake my head. “Everything is wrong. This. Us. I'm not a toy. You can't just kiss me and play with me when you want, then toss me aside when you’ve had your fill. I’m not that type of girl, and I won’t be treated like one. Hell, you've barely spoken to me lately, and when you do, it’s filled with nothing but anger and hate.”