Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 79183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“Should I leave?” Quinn asks.
I needed the comedic relief; for whatever reason, it gives me strength, seeing them together, seeing the smiles despite the grief he’s about to undergo.
“Nah…” Ambrose says. “Stay.”
The word feels final between all of us; I try to regain composure and then realize that maybe it was always supposed to be like this.
The three of us.
Together.
But not forever.
I smile over at Ambrose, his eyes search mine, and then he suddenly starts to pale even more. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I lie and kiss his forehead. “I’m just going to step out really quick.” A tear slides down my cheek. “I love you.”
He frowns. “You’re coming back, right?”
One day. “Sure.” I wink. “I’m just super tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Oh.” He frowns over at Quinn. Quinn gives him a confident smile. I haven’t told him yet either.
The doctor in charge chooses the worst possible moment to walk in. He takes one look at Ambrose and says nothing, then grabs his chart. “You’re one lucky man.”
Ambrose looks at me, then Quinn. “I am.”
“How’s the back feeling?”
“My body?” Ambrose seems to think about it. “It feels fine, why?”
“Morphine.” The doctor smiles, “I’m glad it’s working. At first, you woke up screaming mid-surgery; some patients do that.”
“What, surgery?”
The doctor clears his throat, which is never a good sign. I start to back away toward the door. “You were in a very serious accident once the car hit the water…” His voice lowers. “A woman jumped in to save you. According to the EMTs, you were trapped, and something was stabbing both of your kidneys, we think maybe metal from the dock. An investigation is ongoing, but you were in full kidney failure.”
Ambrose sits up and groans. “But you fixed it? Right? Who was the woman who saved me? I need to thank her, am I going on dialysis or—“
The doctor holds up his hand. “The woman has sadly passed.”
I suck in my tears and try to keep strong.
“But…” The doctor looks over his shoulder. “She was an organ donor, so you’ll make it through perfectly fine. We were able to give you her kidneys at her request before she passed.”
Ambrose squeezes his eyes shut and leans back against the hospital bed. “Can I at least ask who made that sacrifice?”
The doctor looks over at me in confusion; I give him one silent nod. The tears spill down my cheeks.
The doctor sighs. “You were her next of kin—it was your mother. This young lady back here called her before you crashed, and she happened to see the accident. She was able to save you in your last moments but sadly lost her life in the process.”
“M-my mom?” Ambrose stares at the doctor, it looks like he’s going to puke. “I have my mom’s kidneys? She saved my life?” He’s quiet and then whispers, “She’s dead.”
The room falls silent.
Quinn reaches for Ambrose, and I can’t take it. I can’t look at him, so I turn and look at the perfectly white wall and wonder how this all happened.
How.
I have no idea.
She saved him.
At what cost to him, though?
He’s an orphan, just like me.
And he’ll blame me, as he should. After all, I’m the one that called her. I’m the one that spent the last moments of his father’s life with him, just like I spent the last few seconds of her life with her.
“Love him,” she whispered.
“I know, I know.” I hold her hand.
“Didn’t mean—“
“—It’s okay!” I yelled. “You’re going to be fine!”
“Doctor, need to save—“
“—No.” I shook my head. “No, it’s fine—“
She started to code, then miraculously opened her eyes and stared at the doctors and surgeons.
“Save him.”
It was all she needed to say.
Paperwork was brought, she was able to actually sign it, and then…
She coded again.
And she was gone.
Ambrose starts to cry. I know Quinn will be there for him, and I’ll be there in spirit.
I leave the room.
I’m numb as I walk to the parking lot, and then I just keep walking.
I walk three miles to the house that gave me a fresh start. I walk through each of the hallways and memorize the way they always look so stark and perfect to me.
He’ll have Quinn.
He’ll have money.
But I can’t bear to let him have me knowing that it’s my fault. I ruined everything that was perfect in his life without even realizing it.
The words of my previous foster parent before Ambrose’s aunt sink in. They finally sink in.
“You’re a curse! You ruin everything! My marriage is over because of you!”
She yelled so much that day; she blamed me for tempting her husband, she blamed me for him losing his job, she blamed me for everything.
And now I wonder if she’s right. If the reason that nobody ever kept me was because I’m unkeepable. I’m the person that stays for a season, only to be kicked out the very next.