Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 95144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
He’d been waiting for that answer because he already had a rebuttal. “There’s always another way. I will personally see to the project. I will personally vet every single person we hire. I will make sure they’re loyal.”
“There’s no way to be completely certain of hired help. The girls that we have are completely certain—because they’ll never leave.”
His fingers automatically tightened into a fist of pure frustration. “You’ve accomplished everything that you wanted. You have the money, you have the woman—now live your life. Stop living in the past. Stop trying to prove something to our decomposed corpse of a father. There is no reason to continue carrying on this way.”
The mention of that coward made me look away, because I still carried so much regret from that night. Magnus was the only one I’d managed to save. If I’d gotten there sooner, it could have been two instead of one. The money and the power did soothe my wounds, even now, because I would think about it often, think about everything I’d accomplished despite the odds stacked against me. I did what our father couldn’t. He pissed away our wealth and never bothered to try to earn it back. I did. Alone. “I’ve heard your concerns before. The only reason you are vocal once again is because that woman has a grip on your spine and she’s twisting it.”
“I’m glad she’s twisting it. Your fiancée wants the same. How do you expect to have a life with her when she doesn’t respect what you’re doing?”
I pictured a long life with her, with four kids, her beauty still prevalent even as she aged. Men in my circle always took mistresses when their wives became too old, but I never would. She was more than enough for me. But I imagined through the years, this conversation would rise again…and again. “It’s just business.”
“But it’s not just business. It’s lives, Fender.” His voice rose with his anger, trying to knock some sense into me. “I know you’re better than this.”
Every time he said that, it pissed me off. He claimed to see the good through the bad, but there was no shred of goodness anywhere inside me. My humanity died the moment I watched my father try to gun down his two remaining sons. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not.” I suddenly sat forward with my arms resting on the insides of my thighs. I looked him dead in the eye and hoped he would finally understand. “Our father murdered our family without any hesitation. He was a coward and took their lives in their sleep. He didn’t kill himself instead of claiming the lives of innocent people. And you know what? I’m just like him. The evil that ran in his veins runs in mine.” I spoke the truth, and it somehow set me free but also pulled me deeper under. I wasn’t proud to say it, to be honest with myself and my brother, who still looked up to me to this day.
Magnus looked at me differently, a gentle softness coming into his eyes, a look that he gave Raven, not me. “That’s not true.” He spoke with confidence, like there was no doubt in his mind he was right, when he was actually dead wrong.
“Yes, it is. When you see shit like that, you never recover. I’m not human anymore. I don’t care about anyone or anything. And it’s much easier that way.”
He shook his head. “That’s not true. You asked a woman to marry you because you love her. You would take a knife in the chest for me because I’m your brother. It’s hard to carry the weight of the past on your shoulders, but don’t let it define you. You still have a soul. I know you do.”
As much as I wanted to believe that, I couldn’t. “I’ve already done what I’ve done. If there’s a heaven and hell, you know which one I’m going to. I’m damned, and nothing I do now will change that.” I had been raised in a religious family, but my connection to God died that night. If He existed, He wouldn’t have allowed my father to take the lives of the people I loved. He wouldn’t have let us starve on the street and sleep in the rain. He wouldn’t have driven us to this savage existence. It was the devil that did all of that. It was the devil that turned me evil.
Magnus’s breathing deepened as the silence passed, like my words actually pained him, just the way they pained Melanie. For whatever reason, I had two people who loved me, when I didn’t deserve either one. “I believe all people can be redeemed. All people can earn redemption. You just have to try.”
I considered his words but didn’t believe them. “You can be redeemed, Magnus. Your soul is still whole.” He didn’t have to witness what I did. If he had, he would be just like me, and I was grateful he wasn’t just like me. “You’re still innocent. Me…it’s too late for me, and we both know it. May as well make as much money as I can and enjoy spending it all while I’m still here.” I set down the wineglass in dismissal, because this conversation was over as far as I was concerned. I rose to my feet.