Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 47419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
I went back to the pictures of the party. Little Sarah was getting so big. Soon, she’d be able to be here for overnight stays, and Doug could stop missing his kids. I think I should bring up fifty-fifty custody again. Since that bitch has so much support, she could handle a little drama.
I don’t like the fact that she’s smiling so soon after everything came to an end, while Doug still has times of doubt and hurt. I hate when he does that. Like he doesn’t realize he won the prize.
RACHEL
“Okay, sick it up. That’s right.” I couldn’t lift my head from the toilet bowl as Jacob rubbed my back supportively. When is this shit going to end? Why do I still feel this riot of emotions each time I see my ex? I thought by now that I’d be over it already, but it just keeps happening.
Jacob helped me up from the floor and helped me to the sink where I cleaned myself up and headed back to the living room. The kids were already in bed, thanks to Jacob, which was good because I did not have the emotional bandwidth right now.
“I thought this would be over. I thought after the divorce that I would be over it, but it still hurts.”
“Actually, you’re doing better. There were no tears this time, and I didn’t have to scrape you off the floor.” He smiled cheekily.
“That’s true, but I still feel like hell. I just want this to be over. I don’t understand why I still feel anything but hate for him after what he did to my kids and me. Am I just damaged or what?”
“No. I’m sure your therapist has told you that this is normal.”
“She has. Thank you for making me go, by the way. It’s been more helpful than I imagined it would be. She’s been helping me to work through things. I didn’t even know I had PPD until she mentioned it. It was not a bad case, just the normal wear and tear from carrying another human and then pushing that human out of my body. The sleepless nights and the merry-go-round of taking care of a baby while running after a toddler all day.”
“You’re doing fine. If you need any help, you know we’re always here for you.”
“Yeah, I know, thanks, but I’d feel cruddy asking for more than everyone is already doing. I’m actually thinking of looking for a work-from-home position, something to give me financial freedom, but I’m not sure how that’s going to work since I don’t want to put the baby in daycare.”
“Kevin will be starting Pre-K this fall, so that’s good, but little Sarah still needs me.”
“Why don’t you look for something part-time then? Maybe something you can do at night when the kids are in bed?”
“Yeah, I’ll think about it some more, but I think I need to do something with my time to get out of this rut.”
“I thought the gym was working?”
“It is, but I feel bad every time I go there because my ex-mother-in-law has to watch the kids while I go.”
“That’s easily fixed. Why don’t you turn part of the basement into a home gym?” The only thing down there used to be Doug’s man cave. I haven’t stepped foot down there since he left. I looked at Jacob now, ready to deny the suggestion, but then it hit me.
Doug was not coming back, so what was the purpose of the room? “You might have a point. I don’t need much. Just a treadmill and some weights, I guess.” The idea was actually growing on me, and my excitement only grew more when I picked up my laptop and started looking at home gyms.
I wanted to start small and work my way up, but Jacob had other ideas. Before I knew it, he had me ordering a Bow flex, a treadmill, and a pull-up tower.” I balked when I saw the price, and he just nonchalantly said he’d pay half.
“No, I can’t ask you to do that; that’s insane.”
“Don’t sweat it. You’re the mother of my Godchildren; your health is important to me.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to let me repay you in monthly installments or something.”
“Fine, if that’s what would make you feel better, then by all means. But it’s not necessary; you know I can easily afford it.”
“I know, but that’s not the issue. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage. You and the others have been so good to me and the kids.”
“That’s what friends are supposed to do.”
“Yes, but you were Doug’s friends first, long before any of you met me.”
“We were friends with the man we thought he was. He’s not that man anymore, so the friendships have changed. It has nothing to do with you, really. It’s all him. His choices and who he chose to be.”