Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 47419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
So, instead of the support I came to him for, I found myself being kicked out of his house with the door slammed in my face. I’d had no choice then. And maybe subconsciously, that’s why I’d done it. I needed that push from someone who cared, I guess, someone who was invested in my life.
As I walked into the building I saw Wendy watching me from the doorway of her office but pretended not to see her as I headed for the bank of elevators. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t given me that ultimatum none of this would be happening now.
RACHEL
“You’re kidding. Don’t be silly.” I laughed nervously because I had some idea what kind of place this was.
“I’m very serious, come on. This always works for me.”
“You? You don’t strike me as the type who’d need someplace like this. How long have you been coming here?”
“How long were you and Doug together?”
“About ten years, give or take.”
“There’s your answer.” My mouth fell open to my chin. I didn’t know what to say to that, and it was obvious he wasn’t kidding because he had his serious face on.
“I don’t quite know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. That has been the truth all these years, and I’m still the same guy I was before you knew. No need to become uncomfortable. Right now, I’m your friend and the Godfather of your children.”
“Yes, but how can I go back to…” We’d reached the door by then and he kind of crowded me in between him and the little wall next to the door. “Rachel, let me put your mind at ease so there are no misunderstandings. That night in the bar, I was the one who saw you first. But Doug reminded me that you weren’t my type.”
“I thought about the truth in his words and knew that I wasn’t in the right head space for anything permanent, so I thought enough of that jolt you gave me to leave you alone.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because Doug is out of the picture, and I’m in the right head space this time.”
Why did that, coupled with the look in his eyes, make my knees weak and a sweet kernel of warmth unfurl in my tummy and take a slow ride down between my thighs?
“And you’re gonna want to stop looking at me like that right about now.”
“How am I looking at you?” Was that my voice sounding breathy and hoarse?”
“Like you want me to do exactly what I’m imagining doing to you. Not yet, though. Let’s start with this for now. Then I’ll show you how to really blow off steam.”
RACHEL
He had my head so turned around I almost forgot why we were there. I missed the whole thing between him and the staff, and then I was led into the room that looked like a hodgepodge of madness. The walls were cement gray, and there were dishes, vases, and all manner of breakable stuff laid out strategically around the room.
I was given a hard hat and one of those things mechanics wear over their clothes that was covered in paint for some odd reason. Then, there were the hammers that were lined up against the wall. About four or five different sizes.
I was encouraged to heft each one and choose the one I was most comfortable with. I still didn’t know what was going on until they told me that I was free to break anything in the room. Then I remembered that Jacob had called it the rage room, and it clicked.
Rage? I’m not sure I ever felt that. Numb, scared, alone, disillusioned, and totally betrayed. But I’m not sure I ever felt rage on this level, nothing that would warrant this in any case.
I walked around the room, looking at the dishes and reading the bottom while carrying the hammer. By the time I’d made my way around the room, that word kept playing through my head, and I started swinging for no reason at all.
I didn’t make a sound. Not the first few minutes, in any case. But then I started grunting, then yelling, then screaming, all the while swinging. I don’t know how long I was in there, but I do know that I went back over broken stuff a time or two when there was nothing else to destroy.
I didn’t stop exactly; it was more like my arms gave out on me and burned like hell. And then I realized that I’d been crying the whole time. I started to drop to the floor, but there were arms there to hold me before I reached bottom.
I smelled his cologne before I felt his chest under my cheek. He took us both down to the floor and sat with me on his lap, just bawling my heart out. He didn’t speak, didn’t try to shush me. He just held me and rocked me the way I do the kids when they’re upset.