Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
The issue now is, if I barely survived the breakup of my marriage and my heart wasn’t as invested as I once believed, how would I survive the same thing happening again, this time with Mace? I instinctively knew that if we broke up, I’d be more than devastated and may never bounce back from the pain.
He was sitting right beside me, and yet I was mourning his loss because there was no way he’d be with me forever. I started bawling out of nowhere, my thoughts leaving me no choice. What the hell happened between his place and mine? How had I gone from sublime happiness to a blubbering mess in the space of a few minutes?
“Mace, can I say something?”
“Of course; what do you want to say?”
“I think we should break up.” Until I felt him stiffen up next to me, I didn’t even know that those words were going to come out of my mouth. It was sheer self-preservation that made me say it, though, and once it was out, I felt a sense of relief.
There was no way to take the words back as I waited for his response, but my gut was in knots even as I told myself that it was best to get it over with now instead of letting things go on any further. I knew that the longer we stayed together going nowhere, the harder it would be for me when he called it quits. So, I held my breath and waited.
MACE
I kept my arm around her even though I wanted to get up and pace in frustration. I’d come to know her a whole lot better in the last week, not only because of the time we’d spent together but because of the things I’d learned about her from her friends. As much as Nat shared with me, she had a very strong allegiance to my girl, so I know there were some things that she, as a woman, held back. Not so with Xavier.
X is a man’s man, and he held nothing back when telling me about the shit she’s been through since a young age, things I’m sure she herself wouldn’t have told me because she’d have seen herself as the one at fault, even though it was the idiots around her who were responsible. I’m not sure I ever realized until now just how ignorant the society I lived in was.
From what I can tell, this amazing, beautiful woman had spent a lifetime being pushed to the side because of her weight. Now I’ve known of assholes who were into shaming people for that shit; who hasn’t? But for some reason, I thought most sensible people left that shit on the schoolyard grounds.
Even with my own sister acting the fool, somehow, it never quite registered in my head that this was a real thing, that there were actually people out there above the age of ten who still thought that shit made sense. I didn’t know that the ex had used her weight as an excuse to be an ass to her or that her weight had been such a sticking point in her life and was something she still struggled with.
Her confidence, given the way we met, had pretty much concealed that truth from me. But learning that it was more than just a surface thing, more than just people staring at us when we were out together, and the scars that such treatment had left on her still leaves me stymied. I guess I’m at fault as well for not realizing how serious it was for her.
I had no doubt that her last asinine statement stemmed from something to do with that nonsense, and that was the only reason I was not going upside her damn head for being stupid. “You mind telling me why?” There, I sounded sane and rational even though I felt anything but. She tried sitting up and pulling away from me, but I kept her there, attached to my side.
“Tell me!”
“We both know this isn’t going anywhere, that you’ll soon grow tired of me and move on.”
“Uh-huh, what else?” She fidgeted and clasped and unclasped her hands before letting them fall limply in her lap. “What else do you need?”
“We just spent an amazing week together, getting to know each other well. Did I do something to displease you?” She was successful in pulling away this time to look at me.
“Oh no, why would you say that? You were perfect; you’re always perfect. It’s just…. it’s me; I don’t….” She seemed to run out of idiot shit to say, for which I was grateful because I was barely holding onto my patience.
“I must’ve done something that you want to break up with me.” She shook her head, and her eyes grew wet again. I’m not sure how to get through to her since nothing I’ve done so far seems to have worked. I thought showing her how I felt was enough, but apparently, I was wrong.