Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Lexi is in a good mood, but she doesn’t mention where she went or what’s happening with Jake, and I don’t ask. She doesn’t ask me what I’ve been up to, either. I savor the feelings. I text River from my room. Silly things. Serious things. Naughty things.
All week, it’s the same.
We work all day, we kiss after dinner, we send good-night messages. Sometimes, it’s just a kiss and a few pictures. Other times, he comes to the apartment, and we have sex in my bed.
I play my favorite Carole King record. I dance to “I Feel the Earth Move.” I sing in the shower and don my favorite sundress and sit by the pool with a book.
A perfect week. Even with work deadlines and late nights and the uncertainty of Lexi’s plans with Jake.
For once, I don’t worry about her. Not until she comes into my office Thursday night, right in the middle of my attempt to make plans with River.
She locks the door behind her, and she looks right into my eyes and says, “Dee, I need your help.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Deanna
“Willa just texted.” Lexi holds up her cell phone. “She’s going to Palm Springs this weekend.”
“It’s a big place,” I say. “I’m sure you can avoid her.”
“No. Her boyfriend owns the Palme d’Or.”
“He named the hotel after the famous audience award at Cannes?”
“It’s got palm in the title.” She throws her arms in the air, like how should I know? “All the good palm names were taken, I guess.”
“And…”
“And she’s going to be there,” Lexi says. “At the hotel. Ready to watch us by the pool. Ready to watch us at the bar. She’ll probably want to grill Jake at dinner.”
“Aren’t you back together?”
“No.” She brushes a blonde hair behind her ear. “We’re still on a break.”
“You’re taking a weekend away together while you’re on a break?”
“I need to see what’s out there.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Didn’t we agree on that?”
Right. We did. And— “It’s your relationship.”
“And she’s going to be there, judging it, assessing it as good or bad. How am I supposed to get in the mood when I’m being watched? And don’t say ‘that’s what she said.’ Even though, it’s obviously what she said.” She throws herself onto the office couch and kicks off her black pumps. “I can’t do this.”
Is Lexi right? Is Willa really here to check the status of our relationships? Maybe she wants to check in. Or chat. Or have her own vacation. Why is it so hard to figure out people’s motivations? I trust Lexi’s judgment, usually, but she’s a little…anxious when it comes to her future with Jake. I don’t want this to ruin their reunion. “We can cancel,” I say.
“That will look suspicious.”
“But didn’t you say she’s a businesswoman and she won’t care if you and Jake are really in love, as long as you look good?”
Lexi scoffs as if she can’t believe anyone would say such a thing. “She’s going to think I’m sure. And I’m not sure. And I can’t ask him to play my perfect boyfriend if I’m not sure, can I?”
Honestly, I don’t know.
“He loves me,” she says. “I know he loves me. I’m not stupid.”
“Do you love him?”
“How am I supposed to know?” She pushes herself to a seated position. Her blue eyes focus on me. Her lips curl into a frown. “You loved Stephan, didn’t you?”
“I thought so.”
“But not anymore?”
“No.” I sit up on my desk and place my palms against the edge. “I did love him. I’m not confused about the love part. It’s the…him part I don’t understand.”
Her face screws in confusion. “Is this a riddle?”
“No.”
“Love or love not. There is no try?” She attempts the Yoda quote.
“I think it’s the opposite,” I say. “Love is trying.”
“Isn’t it easy?”
“Infatuation is easy.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Lexi, you know infatuation.” I sit on my desk. I try to find my best sister-advice posture. But I don’t know what I’m doing here. Not anymore. “You fall for a different guy every two weeks.”
“Every week, thank you,” she says. “And I’ve been with Jake for six months.”
“Last weekend?”
“What about it?” she asks.
“Didn’t you go home with someone?”
“With Jake, obviously,” she says.
Obviously. She thinks everyone can see she’d rather go home with him than anyone else. That isn’t the Lexi from six months ago. That’s a Lexi who believes in commitment.
“But I couldn’t do it.” She shakes her head again. “It was too much pressure.”
“The sex?”
“No. The words. He said it, then. He said he loves me, and he respects what I want, even if I want to be on my own. But before that, he really wants to try being with me. Physically.”
She turned down sex?
“And I can’t do that… I can’t sleep with a guy who loves me when I don’t know if I love him. That’s a whole different thing!”