Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 880(@200wpm)___ 704(@250wpm)___ 587(@300wpm)
I spin in the chair to face him.
“You want us to do a proposal together?”
“Yes, I do. Plus, it was bound to come up on the cards at some point, no pun intended. So, here it is. Our first joint offer. How do you feel about it, partner?”
I’ve been thinking about this kind of scenario in the background, wondering what it would be like to watch Josh getting fucked by someone else in the flesh – subject to the whim of a client’s fantasies, and him having to do the same to me. We’d both be living out a proposal to the letter, performers in the same room, earning money by heeding instructions.
“Think you’re up for it?” he asks, and I scan the details on his screen. It says virtually nothing.
User 1543. Male. 34.
Time for a hot, hard duo. See you soon.
Duration: Six hours.
Proposal price: £12000 each.
I pull a face, confused by the lack of detail, and Josh smiles.
“Trust me. It’s a hardcore one. Vague can be thrilling, believe me.”
I hand his phone back. “You already know what the answer will be. You knew before you showed me the proposal.”
“I hoped my intuition was accurate.”
“Your intuition is always accurate. You can read the weather better than the Met Office.”
He clicks on accept in front of me. Proposal scheduled for early next week.
It feels different now it’s there in the calendar. I get a buzz through on my phone with the notification, and click on accept.
“Think it will be weird?” I ask him, staring at the tick on my screen.
He shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe. Depends on whether a bout of jealousy pokes its head up from the depths. It’s different when it’s out of view. No big deal. But when it’s there in front of you…”
I ask the obvious question. No elephants in the room for me anymore.
“How was it when you did it with Amy? Did the joint proposals work ok?”
“Fine,” he says. “It was great. All fun and games. Until she went off with one of the clients, that is. I think my levels of security might be a little bit below their usual standards after that bullshit.”
I can relate to that. Betrayal sure leaves its mark on the soul. My insecurities have been easing day after day with Josh – but I haven’t watched him getting passionate with other people in front of me. There’s been nothing triggering in the slightest with things going from strength to strength. Will it really be that easy in the flesh, though?
I grab his arm as he goes to walk away.
“Josh, listen. I’m not going to do what Amy did, ok? No matter how hot, or how good, or how loaded the clients get, it won’t make any difference. They are nothing compared to you.”
His eyes are right on mine. “I’ve heard that before, baby. Those words, almost to the letter.”
Of course he would have. The thought stabs, right in my ribs. Amy must have said it to him over and over again.
“Not from me, you haven’t.”
“I know,” he says. “And I believe you.”
“You sure?”
He winks. “As sure as I’ll ever be, or there’s no way I’d have clicked accept on the proposal. This guy is one of the best. He’s rich. And he’s hot. It’s an honour to be his entertainer. He could have anyone he wanted, paid or not.”
“It won’t make any difference,” I tell him. “There is only one of the best for me. And he’s wearing a red suit, right here, right now.”
“Thanks, baby,” he says, and kisses me gently on the lips to save my lipstick. “And on the red suit note, it’s time to go.”
We share a cab with Tiff on the way to the Mulberry, so I don’t get the chance to ask Josh anything more about the mysterious, mega hot client we’ve got a double gig with. I rest my hand on his leg while we listen to Tiff telling us about the newbies. She’s gushing with news on how she’s been chatting with them on the forums.
I give Josh’s leg a squeeze because I’m noticing how her voice changes, just a little, when she talks about Lochlan. And she smiles every time she mentions his name. Just in passing, but it’s enough to have me wondering.
I’d be so happy to see her grinning, loved up and comfortable with someone she adores. She deserves it. She’s dream worthy and worth a fortune. That’s in Creamgirl’s domain and not Tiff’s though, I suspect. I think there is more of a gulf in her confidence levels than anyone would ever realise. As though she’s afraid there’s a rotten, unlovable part of her buried deep.
I can relate to that. Luckily, I’ve managed to move on – or I’m trying to, a little by little every day – but I don’t imagine everyone gets to heal the darkness of their own inner trapdoor.