Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Luckily, I had a reason to drag my ass out of bed today. Otherwise I could have stayed put the entire day, wallowing in my pussified thoughts—which I was too chickenshit to act on. But I had responsibilities that took precedence over my self-pity. My daughter expected me.
I arrived at Max and Ella’s house for my visit a little early. Paula was already there and helping Ella get dressed—foo-sha because it was Friday.
“How you feeling?”
I’d somehow come to terms with being civil to Max. While I would never understand the shit she put me through, or probably ever forgive her for it, I’d seen during her hospital stay that she had no one. And humanity made it impossible to torture her during the little time she had left.
“Good. Weak, but glad to be home.”
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and nodded.
“How are things going with you and Ella?” Max asked. “She hasn’t stopped talking about you since I got home.”
“She’s a great kid.” I paused and thought about not saying what was on the tip of my tongue. But then I thought maybe it would offer Max peace. “You did a great job raising her. She’s smart, happy, polite, and very settled for a little girl who’s going through her mom being in and out of the hospital.”
Max smiled. “Thank you. I regret lots of things in my life. But the thing I regret most is that you lost years with her because of my actions. She deserves you. And you deserve her. Time is a gift, and I hope you have many years with her, Gray. I truly mean that.”
“Thank you.”
Max took a deep breath. “I think we should tell her.”
My eyes jumped to meet hers.
“I don’t have much time left, and it might make the transition easier if she knows she still has one parent, that she’s not alone in this world.”
I suddenly got nervous. “You think she’s ready for that?”
“I do.”
I nodded. “All right, then. Whenever you’re ready.”
Max’s smile was sad. “Time isn’t something I can afford to waste. ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today’ is pretty much my mantra now.”
Ella came flying into the room, and I quickly knelt to catch her. God, I needed that hug, beautiful girl. I squeezed her as hard as she squeezed me. Her little arms didn’t fit around me, and I found myself thinking I really hoped she still did this when they did.
“Can we go to look for Stuart again today?”
Max’s brows drew down, so I explained. “Central Park. I took her to the lake where they filmed Stuart Little.” I looked to Ella. “Sure. Why don’t we stop off and get Freckles. I’m sure he’d like to come to the park.”
She jumped up and down. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Max bent. “Sweetheart, before you go, there is something Gray and I would like to talk to you about.”
Ella looked at her mother and signed a bunch of things I didn’t understand.
Max laughed. “Yes. You have to put your listening ears on.”
Paula seemed to sense we needed some time alone. “I told your mom I’d come back tonight to help with dinner and bath time,” she told Ella. “I’ll see you later, munchkin. I can’t wait to hear about the park.” She kissed the top of Ella’s head and said goodbye to Max and me.
“Why don’t we go in the living room?” Max nodded her head toward it.
My heart started to race. What if finding out disappointed her? What if she thought I’d known all along that she was my daughter and chose not to stick around? How the hell did you break the news to a little girl that a man she just met was really her father? I sure as shit hoped that Max had a plan, because I certainly didn’t.
Max and Ella sat on the couch together. I sat on the chair diagonally across from them. Max looked at me, her eyes seeking approval to start. Only instead of confirmation we should begin, I must’ve offered a look like a deer in the headlights.
“It’s going to be fine,” Max whispered to me before shifting to face our daughter.
“Ella, do you remember when I told you that you were smart like your daddy?”
Ella pointed to her head. “I get my brain from my daddy.”
Max smiled. “That’s right. Well, I have some news for you.”
I held my breath.
Ella signed something that made Max laugh. I really needed to learn the language fast.
“I don’t think that Gray understood that, Ella. Tell him with your words and hands.”
Ella went slow, showing me each word with her hands. “Gray.” She moved her hands in a circular motion. “Smart.” She tapped her forehead with one finger and then held up her hand, palm facing me.
I looked at Max in shock. Is she asking what I think she’s asking?