Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
“Can I try it?”
I glanced at Max, who nodded.
“Absolutely. How about if I push you around the block once, and then I hop on and you push me around?”
Ella let out a loud belly laugh. I couldn’t imagine ever having a bad day if I could wake up to the sound of that.
“You’re too big!”
I patted my waist. “I did gain a pound or two.”
Max locked up the house while I strapped Ella into her new ride. I guided her feet to the pedals and showed her where to put them if she got tired.
The minute we started walking, I could have let go of the handle that pushed the thing. Ella pedaled her own weight almost immediately. The stroller-trike had a canopy top to shield her from the sun, and Ella was in her own little world, pedaling away. She wouldn’t hear us talking, but I spoke low anyway.
“Does she have any allergies?”
The peanut butter snack had made me think about how many kids seem to have nut allergies these days.
“Feathers. I had her allergy tested because she got a rash from a pillow. The only thing she tested positive to was feathers.”
“Any medications?”
“No. Just a children’s vitamin every day.”
“What is she afraid of?”
Max glanced at me and looked down with a big sigh. “Me going away.”
“Going away?”
“I’ve read a dozen books on how to prepare a child for the death of a parent. Children her age don’t really understand the concept of death. They see it as temporary or reversible. I guess it makes sense, since they watch cartoons where characters are flattened by a car and then blow up to their normal size and walk around again. I tried to explain death to her by saying that sometimes mommies and daddies have to go away, even when they don’t want to. I thought she’d understand that, but a few days later, I had to go upstate for the afternoon to a business meeting, and when I told her I was going away, she started to sob. So I think I screwed that lesson up pretty good.”
I smiled sadly. “She told me her daddy is smart. I assume she thinks Aiden is her father?”
“What?” Max scrunched up her face. “No. I never introduced Aiden as her father. We broke up when she was less than a year old. I doubt she even remembers him.”
“So who was she talking about then?”
“You. I talk about her father in the general sense once in a while. She thinks her daddy is away on a long business trip. She has no concept of time and hasn’t really ever questioned it.”
I raked my fingers through my hair. “Jesus.”
After a twenty-minute walk, Ella had tuckered herself out from pedaling so much. Max looked like she had exerted all of her energy, too. I walked them into the house, and the two of them went to the bathroom. While I waited, I took out my cell phone. I was shocked to find out it was almost five thirty. It seemed like I’d just gotten here.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Max asked when she returned.
The truth was, I wasn’t ready to leave Ella yet. There was so much to learn, so much to catch up on. Yet I also didn’t want to take over Ella’s routine and throw her off. Google had said the introduction of a partner should be done gradually—not that I was any kind of a partner to Max. But I figured the concept was the same.
“I should probably get going. I don’t want to push my luck and outstay my welcome with Ella. She’s probably pretty accustomed to having one-on-one time with you.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“When can I see her again?”
“Friday is my last day of work. I have half days until then. So my schedule is pretty flexible.”
“You’re taking time off?”
“I’m leaving. I love working—the highs and lows of the market were an important part of who I am. But since my diagnosis, I’ve known I’d eventually leave to spend the last of my time with my daughter. I can feel the changes in me coming faster now. My strength is going, and simple things are getting more difficult.”
The last of her time.
I felt a heaviness in my chest. My daughter would soon have no mother. Not to mention, as horrible as she was to me, Max was only thirty years old.
I nodded. “Okay.”
“How about the day after tomorrow? Ella has a checkup at one, but we could get together afterward?”
“Can I come to the checkup?”
“Umm… Sure. Of course. Ella’s going to have to get used to that anyway.”
Ella ran out from the bathroom, and I suddenly pictured her bigger—maybe eight or nine years old. She wouldn’t want a man at her checkups by then.
“Ella, Gray is going to leave. But we’re going to see him again really soon.”