Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
And I just sat there, listening to the hum of the air conditioning system running through a cycle, the air blowing into my back from the vent, making goosebumps prickle over my flesh, but I couldn't seem to think to get up, to move away, to grab clothes off the shelf, and get myself out of this lie of a dress.
So I sat there on my heels, legs going numb, much like the heart in my chest as Kai searched through my computer, seeing the sham of a man who told me he loved me, who had lied to my face, who had taken everything from me.
My security.
My future.
I wasn't sure how long I sat there, but when Kai came back, reaching down toward me to help me back onto my feet - a task that would have been nearly impossible with the long, silky material of my dress - pins and needles pricked with relentless attacks as my heel-clad feet met the floor once again.
"Shake some life back into them," Kai suggested, reading the situation, or - more likely - reading me like he always seemed able to do. All I could manage was to stomp my heels a few times, sucking in a breath when the pain intensified before going away. "Come on. Let's talk over coffee. Or a drink. I'm sure you could use one or the other."
Both.
I could use both.
But we walked back out of my closet, through my bedroom where my eyes landed on the bed, suddenly realizing I could never sleep there again. On that mattress. Where I had slept with him.
I wondered a little fleetingly if married couples felt the same way while going through a divorce - that neither wanted the bed, better just to put it in a trash heap. Or donate it. No one would want to sleep there again.
"Which one, Jules?" Kai asked when we made it to the kitchen, me in a bit of a daze, eyes darting around my home, seeing ghosts of Gary all around - sitting on the couch flicking through things on his phone, stoking the fire, in the kitchen making my coffee. Too strong. He always made it too strong. And only ever put a drop of caramel when I wanted three. Had told him so several times before.
"Coffee," I decided, pulling out a stool to the island, sitting down, watching Kai as he moved around my kitchen.
"How did you know..." I started, not being conscious of wanting to ask as I watched him find the coffee on the first try.
"You have it set up like you do at work," he answered the unfinished question as he slipped a pod into the machine, pushing one of my glass mugs beneath as he went back up into the cabinet for the caramel with one hand and into the fridge for the half-and-half with the other, putting a dab in, then three drops of the caramel.
A dab and three drops.
I had never even told him that.
Never told him that several times without him remembering.
"Thank you," I mumbled, hands closing around the mug, seeing my engagement ring catch the overhead light.
Sparkly.
So sparkly.
"Jules..." Kai's voice called as I reached to rip the ring off my finger, holding it up, then clawing at the settings with my nails, feeling them split, and not even caring, just needing to get the metal to loosen, so I could get the stone out. "What are you doing?" he asked when it finally gave, and I jumped up, going to get a glass, filling it with tap water, then setting it on the island, already knowing, knowing before I dropped the stone in.
But I dropped it anyway.
And it floated right under the surface of the water.
Fake.
He gave me a fake engagement ring.
Like he'd given me a fake relationship.
Like he'd given me a fake future.
"Diamonds sink," I heard my voice explain, looking up to see Kai's face, eyes understanding the situation, turning sad.
"Jules, you need to sit down," he suggested, holding an arm out toward my living room.
To a couch I had once sat on with my head on Gary's shoulder, telling him about the house I was planning to buy within the next two years, with at least half an acre backyard, so I could have a vegetable garden, with a ton of windows to let in the light, so I could have houseplants, with four bedrooms - one master, one for each of the kids I wanted to have, an extra, and then an office/gym hybrid, with an oversized kitchen to cook dinners in, with a front porch to sit and drink coffee on.
Suddenly, I didn't want that couch either.
I shook my head, taking my seat at the island again, taking a sip of my too-hot coffee, enjoying the burn, wondering if it could do anything for the ice slivers forming in my heart.