Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
The snappy answer made Cole shut his mouth. He settled next to Ned and leaned closer, his throat tight with a growing sense that the choice he’d made during the farewell party at the sideshow had crushed any trust in him Ned still harbored. Maybe it was too late? Maybe his cruelty had broken their relationship beyond repair and there would be no going back?
“You’re a good man, Ned. I’ve wanted to kill you for seven years, but then I met you again, and I couldn’t do it. I can now see clearly that you were an innocent man, and I led you astray. Whatever you’ve done weighs on my conscience, not yours.”
The uncertainty in Ned’s green eyes gave Cole hope, but Ned’s lips tightened once more. “I bet Craig won’t share the sentiment. Especially that he won’t get to fuck me to forget that I’d killed his father.”
Cole scowled. “I don’t want to hear about Craig fucking you. Jesus!” he said and gave Ned a gentle shove before scooting closer so he could sense the warmth of Ned’s body. “You did what you did to protect me. Craig might not care, but I do.”
Ned went silent, staring at the dusty floor as he took Cole’s words in. “That was all I could think of back then,” he whispered, and the soft warmth of his voice was like a gentle hand petting Cole’s cheek and tempting him closer.
Cole swallowed through the discomfort left by years of living on lies and stroked Ned’s back. “I should have believed you. I was angry that you did all those things behind my back, but we were together, and I shouldn’t have let you go. If I’d trusted you… we’d both be better off now.”
Ned took a shivery breath. “But you didn’t. So what are you doing here? You left me the letter, and… I thought that was that. Especially after that pathetic fight we had. Came to save me for old times’ sake?”
“Ned, I—” I love you, screamed Cole’s heart, but how could he say something like this when Ned was still hurting from the blows Cole had dealt him? Rejecting Ned had felt like the right decision at the time, but he was now ashamed of the way he’d treated him. “I was wrong. I don’t think any of the things I said, but you confronted me in public and I-I lied. Today, when I saw Nugget, I realized that I needed to find you, but you weren’t there anymore and I lost it,” he said, looking away when his voice broke.
Ned shook his head. “You’re so dumb sometimes. I don’t know how you survived seven years on your own. We tried and failed, Cole. It’s not gonna work between us. There’s too much baggage, you’re too angry, I’m too messed up. Soon enough you’ll change your mind, and it will be far too painful to go through that again.”
He’d hurt Ned so deeply there might be no coming back from it, but living without him no longer felt possible either.
Cole squeezed Ned’s arm. “Perhaps we could be friends then? Like at the very beginning. I’d look out for you, and you for me. And we’d both make sure Tommy grows into a fine man,” he said, even though those words extinguished the glimmer of hope that so far still flickered inside him.
“A better man than either of us, huh?” Ned asked with a sigh. “I did really like that innocent time. You were the first true friend I ever had. The first one I could be myself with. I would have taken a bullet for you even before we kissed.”
Cole stopped breathing as if he’d just been hit by a bullet, but this one had been sent by Ned and would do him no harm. He’d fallen in love so hard. So fast. From the very moment their eyes had met in Beaver Springs, he’d known fate had put them together, and nothing had changed since.
He opened his mouth, ready to speak, but loud voices below made him rise and peek out of the window. In the afternoon sun, Thaddeus Craig hurried along the street flanked by two police officers. He was right there, like an animal who didn’t know the hunter was nearby.
Slowly, he put his hand on the revolver resting at his hip.
Ned crawled to his side and looked out into the street. “That’s Craig,” he whispered, but when Cole cocked his gun, Ned grabbed his wrist. “What are you doing?”
“He won’t stop until he tracks you down. It’s gonna end up like it had with Zeb. You know this,” Cole snapped, but Ned kept holding his hand, and Cole didn’t truly struggle against the grip, so they stayed trapped in this gentle tug of war.
“He’s a good man, Cole. A true man of the law. He spoke to me in jail. Frankly, without malice, even though he was glad to have me caught. He didn’t throw one punch and only wanted justice done in court. Don’t be the man to end him. Do it for me and my conscience?”