Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
I stilled, surprised he didn’t just let me walk out the door. My hands came together in front of me, hanging at my waist. “I didn’t know you had a son…” He didn’t seem like the father type. He was just so cold, devoid of any emotion besides hatred.
“He’s five.” It was the first time he’d actually talked to me. He didn’t snap at me or give me a clipped answer. His eyes weren’t on me, looking at the other wall, but he was still having a conversation with me.
So, I crept to the couch across from him and took a seat, my back straight and rigid with my hands together in my lap. I’d never been so uncomfortable with a client, so unsure how to navigate a conversation, unsure how to help him. He was so difficult for me to read. I was afraid if I pushed it, he would snap at me, but I didn’t want to leave either…when it seemed like he needed someone to talk to. “What’s his name?”
He closed his eyes for a moment as he whispered it. “Derek.”
Now I saw this man in a new way. He was a father who loved his son…and that completely redeemed all his previous behavior. He was heartbroken, bitter, and broken by the loss of the one person he actually did care about.
“We’d only been seeing each other a few weeks when I knocked her up. To this day, I think she did it on purpose, but I stopped caring the second Derek was born. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so who gives a fuck?” He dropped his hands and stared at them as they hung above his knees. “I offered to marry her because I wanted to be a family…to be a father the way mine was to me. But I never loved her. I hated her. Every fucking day. But he kept me going.”
I just listened, my heart aching for him.
“But she was spiteful. When she didn’t get what she wanted from me, she’d cheat on me, which is fucking bullshit because I’d been faithful every fucking day, even though there were times when I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left. But then I had to move here for work…and now she won’t let me even fucking talk to him…just to be spiteful.” He covered his face again, starting to breathe hard once more, like he was so mad he couldn’t see straight. After a minute, he lowered his hands again. “I just want my son…he’s everything to me.”
There were two sides to every story—but I already hated this bitch. “I’m so sorry…”
He closed his eyes again and sighed, his nostrils flaring with anger. “I knew this would happen. But I did it anyway.” He dropped his gaze. “I’m a piece-of-shit father—”
“No, you aren’t.”
He lifted his gaze and looked at me, staring at me straight on for the first time.
“Parents don’t need to be together to be a family. You deserve to have both. You deserve to have a wife you love and be a father.”
He sighed quietly and shook his head. “I don’t want to be married again. I didn’t want to be married in the first place.”
“Alright, you deserve to be free of a toxic relationship. And you shouldn’t be penalized for doing the best for yourself. You did nothing wrong. I know it’s hostile right now, but it’ll calm down…”
He shook his head again, as if he didn’t believe me.
“I can get you the best lawyers in this city, Mr. Hamilton—”
“Call me Deacon.”
I faltered for a moment, surprised he was giving me a measure of intimacy after what I just did. “We’ll do this the legal way, get you the custody you deserve.”
“No. If I do it that way, I’ll lose.”
“Why?” I asked. “You’re a successful man who wants a relationship with his son.”
“I’ve got skeletons in my closet. Let’s just leave it at that. If we go to court, I’ll lose.”
“We have to try—”
Now, he snapped. “No.”
I went quiet, knowing I’d overstepped my boundary.
“Now she’s in Beverly Hills, and I’m here…I’ll never see him. After he starts school in the fall, I’ll be lucky to see him a few times in the summer.” He took another deep breath, like he might start to cry, but he didn’t. “We’ll never be close. Valerie will get remarried at some point, and her husband will be his stepfather…and he’ll forget about me.”
A lot of men would like the opportunity to start over, to return to bachelor life with no responsibilities whatsoever. They would leave and never look back.
But not Deacon Hamilton.
“Is there a chance she would move here?”
He shook his head. “Even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t, just to get back at me.”
“Get back at you for what?” If he was telling the truth, he had been in a loveless marriage out of commitment, sticking it out even if he didn’t want to be there. She was the one screwing around.